Pudding and Chopsticks

There is this thing that happens when I go out in public. I get stared out. Now, I know that I am a handsome guy and all but I don’t think that is it. It’s probably because I am the only white guy most of these Chinese have ever seen. There are a good amount of foreigners here in Shenyang, so I’m not sure if that’s it either. It might also be because I got more muscle then 3 average Chinese men combined (Excluding construction workers, those guys are beefcake.). But who knows. People look in my basket at the store to see what I am buying. Oh, what did the foreigner buy? Kids love to stare, old people stare, normal people stare. But whatever. It doesn’t bother me. I suppose that I understand. In America I would have said something smart like “take a picture it last longer” but here I don’t. For one I can’t come close to saying that in Chinese, and two, they probably won’t know what picture is nor the phrase. Cultural differences I suppose. My quick wit and sarcasm doesn’t go very far here. Blank stares and the words I don’t understand usually follow with the English speaking Chinese people I know. So what do I do to combat this staring initiative that has been placed on myself. I stare back. Nothing like staring at a person who stares at you. It’s like a gentleman’s duel. You start it I am going to finish it. Most of the time I win. They look away pretty quickly and go about what they were doing. Spitting a loogie or something. I also wave. Most of the time they freak out and act like they weren’t even looking at me in the first place. I got to thinking that just now I might be stared at because I have hair. Yes believe it or not. When I was meeting the kids for the first time at the school most of them pulled my arm hair and said something along the lines of  “whoaa.” Yes kids, that there is man fur. I suspect they are interested because most of them are teenagers and don’t have hair. Hell, even grown ups in Asia don’t even have hair. Not that I’m Grizzly Adams or anything, but I am a fairly manly man. I ate my hot sauce when I was a kid. So yeah. I got hair. But anyway, whatever. People stare. In America it’s not polite. In China no ones gives two rat’s bums if they stare or not. So if you can’t beat them join them. If you end up being stared at by a few ladies, awesome, throw out a wink or two, make um blush.

Tagged: Hair, Staring, Winks