Would I be cheating on Kit Kats if I said that I might of found a new type of sweet to fall in love with. Chances are I would. Last time I was in China a year ago I found something that intrigued me. They have Oreos here, I’m pretty sure. But what they also have here is a decadent little thing called…. An Oreo Chocolate Wafer. At least I think that’s what it’s called. Not one hundred percent sure. In any case it’s mean. It’s nasty. It’s as good or better than a Kit Kat. You ever had those orange, pink, chocolate wafers you can get for cheap? Little wafers things with crème in the middle? Yeah. This is just like that but tastes just like Oreos. Dang, I think that I am in love.
Again we have a box. Much like the Kit Kat that came in the box the king size of the Oreos deals also come in a box. When you open in you will find 5 little Oreo Wafers staring you in the face whispering eat me, eat me. So you amuse them and pick one up. It’s wrapped in a plastic that much like the Kit Kat you can tear off super easy. I suspect that if it took more that half a second to do so Chinese people would be angry. Half of everyone here can’t wait to cross the road and go for it in the middle of traffic. Just my logic. So you tear the clothes off this sweet little innocent bar and you see the dark rich chocolate. Your not sure what it is going to taste like. You violate it, snap apiece off and place it in your mouth. The clouds part, a beam of sunshine radiates onto your face, and some cheesy religious music starts to play. You are in Heaven. The crème cuts the heavy chocolate flavor. It sticks to your teeth but you don’t mind, because you have dental from work. So you stick the rest of the wounded bar into your mouth. Again sunlight slaps you in the face. You repeat this until all five are gone. Your clothes are half torn off and you wonder, what just happened? You can’t remember. There is a 10-minute period that you can’t figure out what you just did. You go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. You see chocolate stains all over your lips. A puzzled look crosses your face. Your fingers are covered in the chocolate blood. You walk back to where you regained consciousness. The wrappers strung out all over, the evidence is clear. You just MURDERED five Oreo Chocolate Wafer bars and you feel good.
I must admit I forget that I was going to do an in-depth comparison between American Kit Kats and Chinese kit Kats and didn’t bring the American version to China with me. Lame. But what I can do is give a professional review of the Chinese version of the beloved candy I so treasure. I paid 7.40 Yuan for this bad boy so it better be good. I think that’s about 1.20$ US. I suppose a little cheaper, but not by much. Unless of course you are living in Vail and it’s 80 cents cheaper.
The first thing that you notice about this little devil with chocolate is that is comes in a box. Yes, a box. Well that’s if you get the king size. I did. I needed the extra Kit Kats for test purposes. As you can see from the photo it looks quite similar to the plastic wrapper you might find on one from you corner Stop and Hop. Except there are these weird scribbles on it, Chinese characters. Don’t ask me what they mean. I can only assume that the Chinese have finally designed characters for the word awesome and put them on a Kit Kat box. Makes sense to me. So you open this bad boy up and you will find two smaller packages of the addicting sugar. Much like getting two regular size Kit Kats. Those two packages look like the box but obviously are plastic. On the back you will find a lot of these little drawings. Through my extensive study I can assure you that the meaning equates to one thing: Fat. Now lets taste test these sultans of lust.
Wow, nice, ahh, Heaven. The taste of the chocolate is good. Defiantly different then the American Kat. It seems to have a moderate amount of caramel. It reminds me of Easter. Maybe a Cadbury Egg. Maybe. Not sure but it tastes different. The chocolate melts faster. Quite a bit faster. I like this better then the Kats back home. It seems that they are a little too hard. When you put it in your mouth it just doesn’t want to melt and break apart. Here the melting of the chocolate is instant. I presume from the softer chocolate. The next thing that goes through your mind, well at least my mind, is that the inside wafers seem grainy. Courser sugar or something must be used. Not sure. So all and all a winner. You can bet I am going to be investigating these for the entire time that I am here. I just think that I wouldn’t be an American if I didn’t. I’m all for patriotism you know?.
Man my butt is going to sleep from the couch in the living room. Really people?. Any of you Chinese heard of padding.. really, you skipped landlines you can’t skip to foam.. Dang.
I went shopping today for some items. Well I suppose that’s pretty obvious. I spent 65.50 Yuan I think that the exchange rate right now is 6.85 to 1 USD. I’m not sure. I don’t have the Internet at the apartment yet. So as hammers fly, chisels chisel, and car horns honk like downtown LA in an evacuation of the city because there is a volcano under the tar pits, I sit and write this.
I needed a few things to get down to the business of living. Shampoo, soap, some sort of soap applying device, a Kit Kat, ice tea, oj, and some chips. Seems like a lot. In the states this would catch a king’s ransom. Shampoo, something like 4 bucks maybe, soap, 4 bucks (sorry I’m delicate like a flower need good soap), applying device, 1 dollar, a Kit Kat king size (go big or go home), 2 bucks, some ice tea, um, 2-3 bucks, oj, 2-3 bucks, and a grab bag of chips, 2.99. That’s about 20 bucks or there abouts. Here, 10 bucks or less. Awesome, I suppose.
The thing that I noticed today was the relationship between products. Go to the grocery store and guess what some items are based on other items. For example: Oj. You go to a store where oj is 7.99 a half-gallon. Based on that Kit Kats are probably going to run high and be 5.99 or something. Well here, the oj. 1.25 L, is cheaper than the Kit Kat. You get what I am saying. The relation between things that I am accustomed to is bull pucky now. Flew the coop. So I guess that I am going to have to learn them all over again.
It took me a while to find this. They have these shower mitts that are like a glove washcloth. Good idea but no thanks.
Potato chips, awesome. Check these flavors. This tasted just like steak. Man, I am really glad I moved here. Steak flavored chips, yes please.
Not sure what the H this one is. I’ll let you know when I break the seal on them.
These must be potato flavor. Either that or it’s field flavor. Not sure if I like that.
Are these rib flavored? Huh? Maybe.
Yes shower gel, please care for me.
It’s science.
Yes, conditioner.
Instructions. Thank you. Needed them.
Well, the Subaru is loaded up and when I say loaded up I mean I had to stash junk under my feet. Mainly a vanilla scented candle, a small box, and a super clamp/magic arm combo. At least the candle in theory should make the 18 hour drive home that much more pleasurable. Today I leave Colorado. The place that I have hung my hat for the last two and a half years. An awesome place where I have met some of my greatest friends. I head home to Michigan. America’s high five. Unfortunately I don’t have time to go into the details on Colorado or my move to China just yet. A few notes to myself before I go: When planning on leaving, leave when planned. Thus you don’t have to deal with the snow in the middle of the Rocky Mountains. Do not acquire any more junk. Make it to Silverthorne, purchase one Slurpee, two Kit Kats, and a full tank of gas. Thereafter the Slurpee will be replaced by bad gas station cappuccino. At least for the next 1200 miles. And last but not least. Hershey’s syrup works great as a early morning pick me up. Tilt and squeeze into mouth. Enjoy. So goodbye Colorado, goodbye blender, goodbye toaster oven. I am so sorry that I couldn’t fit you into my car. I had more important things to fit.. Like snowboards and magazines full of photographs.
Peace.
