Anyway, at least Starbucks is open. I can have real coffee. So here I am.

Like I said before, Starbucks is slaying it here. They recently expanded the second floor to double the space it was before. It’s always packed.

MARK MY WORDS, STARBUCKS IS GOING TO SLAY IT HERE.

Anyway, the reason I wanted to write a little post today is to give you a little insight to what I would think average rich, or well off Chinese parents do. Am I saying all Chinese parents do this, no, but I’ve seem my fair share do this exact same thing, so I guess it’s fair to say it’s a trend.

So I sit down and I see two adults, both playing on Iphone 4s. I also see one kid, maybe 3, 4, playing by himself. He comes over and we start to chat. Mostly about why my nose is so big and why he like drinking milk. You know, important diplomatic relation type things.

Parents didn’t flinch.

I know this happens in the States too, but come on people. It’s no wonder adults have effed up personalities and do bad things. You are in a Starbucks ignoring your son, playing on your iPhone 4 while he is prancing around. Creating an effed up adult.

I don’t know, I mean, yes I have had a lot of friends have kids. I know how it is, I’ve come as close as I can to having kids without actually having kids. To be honest, I can’t wait, it’s going to be awesome. So when I see two parents ignoring their kids when they could be teaching them about something, how the world works, black holes, space time continuums and Legos. Come one. How can that not be fun.

I see a lot of parents here ignoring their children and it makes me sad. One day that kid will grow up and think he/she is terrible and can’t please anyone or some other personality disorder because you neglected them, instead you played a game on your phone. IT’S A EFFING PHONE PEOPLE. I know it’s magical but you have just given life to a person, I’d say that a little more magical in my book.

Time spent not at work. It’s better for foreigners but for Chinese, or at least some of them it’s not really “their” time. I guess it has something to do with powerful people wanting to control everyone. Really I have no idea where this comes from. But here goes.

In the States, at least in my personal life and the people I know, when you are punched out you are done. That’s it. But here in China it’s not.

For instance, your boss want’s to treat everyone to dinner. It is strongly advised you go. Yes this happens in other countries including the States but it seems that here it’s really strongly advised. If not you are disrespecting him. Work could very well become harder and that raise, or promotion could be a long ways out. I guess all the jobs and people I met when I was in the States, wouldn’t put a employee in this position. I would also say that it maybe kinda illegal. But I can’t be sure on that. I’m sure it happens though.

I’ve known a few girls here that I have had big issues with. I say big but it’s par for the China course. I have made plans with them, days or hours in advance only to have them, at the last minute, sometimes while I was coming to get her, changed because their boss called a meeting. An off work hours meeting at the last minute and then dinner or some junk. Happens an awful lot.

Take last night for example. I had plans with a girl that I have been out with before. I dig her. She’s not really like most Chinese girls. But that would make sense because most normal Chinese girls would be caught hanging with a foreigner (more on that later). So we make plans to have dinner. I want to take her to this sushi place. It’s the best Japanese place in town that I know of. The day before we had to cancel our plans so this is like a make up game type of thing. Everything’s set. I then get a text saying that she has to cancel because her school has a meeting that she needs to go to. This really chaps my ass. Why can’t anyone tell anyone ahead of time. But that’s not China. We bounce texts back for a few minutes and she decides that she will not go. She had already made plans with me and she is going to stick with them. This is a good sign from a relationship point of view.

Anyway I rush home to get changed, and start heading out the door when she says that her manager wants to take her out to dinner. I was like what? You have plans. But this is China.. so plans, aren’t really plans. I do not want to meet anyone. Not to sound like some kind of hermit or bad person, but it’s tiring. Meet new Chinese guy it’s always the same thing and nothing to talk about. NBA, what you don’t watch it, but you are American. Nothing in common. They want to show me their wealth and what not. I don’t like it. Maybe if I would find some snowboarding, skateboarding, or some other alternative sport people here we could have something to talk about. But for the most part, I find it all too weird to sit down with new people here. In a intimate area, not like a bar. I then have to speak a second language in front of strangers, it’s freaky. This is besides the fact that most just want to see a white guy, or talk to one, or use English, or etc..I’ll get asked a bizzillion questions about where I am going to live and why I live her and they’ll probably totally c*ck block me. Good chance of that. Seen it happen. Chinese guys get awfully competitive around foreigners and really don’t like them taking “their” women. Again, seen it. Not saying all are like that but I’ve seen a few.

She wanted me to come and join them. I hemmed and hawed, why, because usually it’s because the Chinese guy wants to show off that he has money and can buy the white guy dinner or some BS. Had this happen a few times. It gives them instant respect to be seen with a white guy and all that bull s. Ok so maybe I’m making the white guy thing a big deal, but it’s surely not because he wants to know me. He doesn’t know who I am. I guess living here makes you suspect of everything and that puts negative thoughts in peoples heads. So of course I think he wants something..

So I go. Only because I wanted to see her and make her happy.  And when I arrive she says we can site at a different table. Which is weird because uh, why did you go to dinner with him and his daughter if you can site at a different table with me.

Anyway things turned out ok, but she dissed her boss which I feel bad about. We sat separate from them which meant that I didn’t want to sit with them which was a disrespectful move. But whatever.

She told me that she was waiting for the bus to come and meet me when her manager saw her. He asked her to come to dinner, she said she had plans with someone, the guy of course said to bring them along. I guess that he is a good person. I don’t know. Either he is a really good person and just wanted to take some people out to dinner or he wanted to flaunt his wealth. Maybe not consciously but that’s how it’s done here from what I can tell. Anyway, I guess I will probably never know.

But from my point of view he should of backed down after she said she had a prior engagement, this would be respecting her. But she felt so pressured into going with him that she also dragged me into it. But at least she knows that it’s a bad thing. I told her I understood but asked her how she was supposed to have her own life if she has to do these sort of things. What if she was married. Her response.. but he’s my boss.

Classic China. Not hating, just writing it like it see it.

China New Year is coming up and that means trying to finish all the work before the workers decide to strike or something.

I hope that I will have some time soon. Really I just wanted to post something so that people back home didn’t think I was kidnapped or something.

Nope still here, just living life. And all the boring things in between.

Anyway, hope you had a Merry Christmas and all that jazz.

So here is how the night went. I was invited to so to a KTV, which is a karaoke place. So, well, to do that as a first date in the States is kinda out there in left field. Unless it’s big in your area I guess.

Anyway, it’s normal I guess here. I mean, at least going singing is. Going on first dates to a singing place, not sure if that’s normal or not.

So, I get there and there are three girls wailing away to some Chinese pop songs. I didn’t know how many people would be there. I met the girl and her friends. Everyone seemed pleasant enough.

We talked a little bit, but sang more. They kept trying to get me to sing, the problem is that I don’t know that many Chinese songs. I know a few, so I sang the ones that I knew. They also figured that I must be able to sing just about ever English song that they had on the computer system. Which I can’t. So that was a little awkward.

A couple hours after that, we bailed and everyone headed home. We didn’t get to talk much. It was more of a meet and greet to feel me out. So that she could get a feel for me and make sure that I wasn’t a murderer or anything.

I did get the usual questions. Do you plan on staying in China, you can’t can you? Which if I say no, then the date is over. Not much of a future in that. So I have to say yes and tip toe around that one.They were pretty relaxed around me. They are a little older, 24 and up. Usually young kids haven’t seem much, or interacted with foreigners so they act all weird. So that’s good, or bad depending on your perspective.

There weren’t that many language issues. They speak standard Mandarin. They aren’t locals so at least I didn’t have understand the studdering that the locals do. With meeting new people, in any country, there is always some getting used to the way they talk, the patterns, their word choice, etc. With meeting them they used some words that I don’t hear often, so, it took me a minute to figure out what they were trying to say. But that leads me to this.

They did do something every other Chinese person does and it drives me absolutely insane. At least this time I didn’t chew their asses for doing it. I was nice and calm. But made sure they knew what was up. I don’t know what to call it, but basically when you don’t understand something you usually would pause. Well, when you think about how to answer something, you also pause. So being a non-native Mandarin speaker, every-time you pause, the locals think that you don’t understand. So one of the girls asked me a question, I took 2 seconds to think about it, that was too long, she told the other girl to translate, and I then tell her I understand and I was thinking about it.

That was slightly awkward.

So really, she seems like a cool girl.

Hopefully we’ll hang again. And to be honest, I always wanted to make out with an art teacher.

So yeah, that is what a date, or first, blind type date is. A feeler. Probably a group date.

Good times

Anyway I thought I would wait for the shadow fall off the moon, but I ended up falling asleep. Ah well.

I recently met a girl, whom I have been chatting with online. Which for those that do not know, if completely normal here. I just don’t want you to think that I’m some nerd that can’t have a real conversation in person. QQ is a chat program, like Skype, and if you don’t have one, they kick you out of China.

So she seems cool. A art teacher, which I thought was super awesome. She asked me to go out with her and her friends to a KTV. Which, in this context does not mean hookers and booze like it normally would.

It goes down tomorrow night. Everything seems legit. Oh wait, did I just say legit. Yep I did.

I talked with a wife of a friend tonight and told her that tomorrow I have a date. The first thing she said was “be careful.” Now think about this. When is the last time you knew someone that went on a first date with a girl or guy? When was the last time you personally went on a first date with a girl or guy. Now stop and think whether any of those times you actually thought you should be safe, or be careful.

Now I can say this. I’ll be generalizing but I don’t care. For the most part, on average in America you will not have to even think about being careful with a guy or girl. Yes there are times, but you are worried about that person as a person. Not about a place, or gang of people. But in China, you have to be, and as a foreigner, you really have to be. It’s like the wild west here. Especially outside the major city that have big expat populations.

So why did she say be careful. She says because China New Year is coming, Jan 29 or so, and there will be a lot of people trying to cheat and steal. Lot’s of thieves and swindlers you could say. So she says be careful. I think she said it last year too for some reason. Me being a foreigner I get targeted for this more often then not I’d bet.

Possible problems that could happen from what I have read, heard, or seen happen in China.

She could get me into the KTV with her friends, try to get me drunk, then rob me.

She could do the same as above then call some “big brothers” to beat me up and rob me.

She could have a deal made with the KTV that when the bill came it was enormous, and the KTV could make me pay, she would take a cut.

She could lead me down a dark alley and have some “big brothers” beat me up and rob me.

She could give me something to pass out and rob me.

She could take me into a place to eat and have something set up so that when the bill came it was way too much and they would force me to pay, she would take a cut.

She could make me pay and pay me back later with fake money.

Etc etc.

Now you may be thinking, Holy Sh*t, he is one paranoid person. Well, I’ve heard about pretty much all of these things happening in one form or another. But they usually have one thing in common. They happen in places with a large amount of foreigners. Takes time to put this together, and really, think of it as a robbery. There are the kinds that take real criminals that plan and target their victims and do it for a living. Well, I haven’t seen another white guy in a few months so, uh, not really a booming business stealing from the white guys here. I think in places like this it’s more opportunity. Oh he passes out with his wallet in is hand and it flopped open type of thing.

Not saying it couldn’t happen. Where I met her, how, why, and pretty much everything else leads me to believe that I shouldn’t have any problems at all. She won’t meet me alone because she is more scared of me than I am of her. It’s a common thing here. Group dates. No biggie. That and all the cute photos of her students painting and drawing on her QQ space. Which if you think about it would be the perfect cover story. Sweet innocent art teacher steals foreigners blind.

My biggest fear is face. If they pressure me to buy something and I don’t, or I can’t negate my way out of it, it could mean that I am cheap and well, girl’s don’t like cheap. Am I cheap? Depends. Are we talking about things that make me money or buying a fruit basket that costs 100USD so that I can show off my wealth and they can suck down passion fruit all night. Well, in that case, I most likely am.

I got in contact with her and we chatted a few times online. Which is completely normal here. But whenever I would ask her a question she would just answer. And before you say that my questions were not open ended you would be wrong. She would never ask about me, or swing the conversation around, in fact, we never really had a conversation.

So I haven’t talked to her in a week or so. I probably will contact her and see if she wants to go for coffee or something. But she is super reserved. Doesn’t do much but watch TV and read, so she says. Which really, every Chinese girl will tell you the same thing, so, well, it could be true.

But why start a relationship with a girl that probably won’t want to move. I dislike this city with a passion. It’s food and it’s people. So, why marry someone that will give me both. Why even start talking to her. Maybe it was doomed from the start.

But give it a chance. Well, since when you say that you are talking like a Western perspective probably, in China, I would think that they wouldn’t even start something if they new it wasn’t going to work. Not worth the trouble. I’m guessing that from all the arguments I have at work about not doing something, and the conversations I’ve had with other girls. So, why go out if it will lead to no where.

Anyway, I’m curious as to what she looks like, so I’ll try to meet up with her anyways. If she can cook Sichuan food and wants to get the hell out of this city, well, at least we’ll have something to talk about.

It usually goes something like, I have a great idea to write about, get home, ah, I don’t feel like writing.

Or, I need to write, I start and then realize it’s rubbish and stop give up and go to bed.

So I guess what’s been going on lately.

Been busy building widgets.

Turned 30 on 11/11/11. Interestingly enough.

It’s been getting colder.

That’s about it. Really. Nothing really interesting is happening in my life.

Girls, well, I’ll post something on that soon.

Peace.

I have not. There are multiple reasons, mostly because this city is the devil. But whatever. Maybe I suck. I’m blaming the city though. So I say no and she asks me what I am looking for. I give the standard Chinese answer. Good skin, not short, not tall, good disposition, smart, etc. All the things that make a good wife. She says that she has a friend that meets all of those. How lucky of me.

Let’s break this down. She only knows that I work in China. Speak Chinese, and am from America.

And she wants to hook me up. Probably wants to dump an older 30 yr old women on me. Because foreigners are not as interested nor are dead set on a girl under the age of 25. Chinese are. If she introduced me to a girl in her 30s it would mean that she didn’t get married, or is divorced and thus Chinese men would think she is defective in some way. Foreigners don’t think like that. But also she only thing that sets me apart from a Chinese guy is the fact that I am American. Which means that I have beautiful white skin, pretty eyes, and speak English. So could these be the only things that she is interested in? Well perhaps I am thinking too much.

She said that she wanted to treat her friend and I to dinner and introduce us. I had to say that I was a little too embarrassed to have that happen. Just think of the awkwardness if I couldn’t understand what they were saying. So I saved her face and told her to give the women my QQ number. So that’s all good.

We will see what the deal is. I am waiting for the women to contact me through this chat program so that we can.. well hell, I’m not sure. The Chinese way of dating is not to date.

Something like this. Meet girl, friends, engaged, married. yep. They DO NOT date around. So basically being friends with a Chinese girl and doing all the dating things that you would do with a girl in America would be like you are dating in America without sex. But dating in China is like being exclusive in America.. I know it doesn’t make sense. I don’t really understand it either.

Anyway. I’ll keep this updated because I know you are all dying to know what Chinese girls are like.