Pudding and Chopsticks

Nah, not really, but how else am I going to get you to read my blog. Ok so here is the story. It happened last night.

Here it is.

The set up. I am in a taxi heading to do something. I tell the driver to stop. It happens to be by a red light so he just pulls up to to the light. We are the first in line so to speak. I give a fifty. He has to count 45 back and give it to me. This takes something like one minute. Not that long. We are at a red light on a three lane road. We are on the outside lane, 2ft from a curb. On the other side of the curb sits a bike lane. He counts the money and give it to me. I check the blind spot of the car quickly, tell the guy thanks and do something I always to, I crack the door. I don’t wing it open, I just crack it. Wroom. A effing motorcycle flys by the door right as I crack it. He swerves a bit and stops after he runs the red light. I am assuming that his intention was to skim by all the cars lined up at the red light. Squeeze through the 2ft of space that he had and run the light and be off on his merry way. But what he didn’t expect was someone to open a door at the light.

Like I said I didn’t wing it open. Just cracked it. What would of happened if I would of winged it open. Well perhaps I would get to use all the bad Chinese words that I know. I check the blind spot, but this guy was flying. I’d say he was doing 20mph past all the cars. Even if I made sure that no one was coming he is coming at a rate of say 20 mph, 29 ft per second, so, in half a sec he could of been 15 ft out behind the car behind us. Anyway I think he about pooped himself. Well, him and the guy riding on the tail of the bike. I got out, I know what was going to happen. They stopped and looked back at who almost hit them while they were running a red light going through traffic. It was a foreigner. On my own defense, I wasn’t going to hit them. I crack the door so that if there is someone there they see it. But they just happened to be in the perfect spot to see it and just about wipe out. 1/10 of a sec later they wouldn’t of seen it and never of noticed anything.

They looked back saw me, I ignored them. They said something among themselves and left. Down south, were I lived for a bit, you cannot drive motorcycles and mopeds in the city. This is why. It hinders traffic, causes accidents, etc. But here in this city they can do whatever they want. And what motorcycles, bikes, and what have you, do is this, THEY DON’T FOLLOW ANY RULES OF THE ROAD. I made that big to make a point. Nothing. Nada. They don’t stop at red lights, or anything. They just, in the past 2 months, started to have 3 lights, maybe 4, that bikes have to stop. But besides those lights, you have mopeds, bikes, motorcycles, running lights, crossing roads, in and out of traffic. No wonder more people die here in car accidents that most all of China. It’s crazy.

How who’s fault would it of been if those guys wiped out. Mine, because I opened a car door? Theirs because they were weaving in traffic and running a red light? I don’t know. Do bikes have to follow the rules of the road, I don’t know. But what would of happened is this. They would of played up whatever happened. Pitted everyone against me, and tried to get as much cash as possible out of me. I would of had to pay for probably everything, would have to call some people I know. They would get all their medical bills paid for included whatever wasn’t caused from the accident. A new motorcycle because the damage that the bike had before would of been played off as caused by me. All cash. Insurance is a new concept here. So well, I would have to dish some over. Perhaps I would of been right and not had to pay anything. But lets think about this. 1.4 billion Chinese and me. I lose.

So what is the major problem here. Well I think in part it is this. China has a massive amount of laws. Most all go unenforced. Say that motorcycles have to follow the rules of the road. But the Police haven’t enforced these rules in this city at all. Citizens then do whatever they want. This goes on for years until some thing happens. Then they have to start enforcing it. The Olympics come or something where they have to “clean up” the city. Then they have to retrain all the people about the law that has always been on the books. Extremely difficult to say the least. This has also happened recently with business and other aspects of foreigen investment and what not.

Nothing new just another day in China.

So yeah, don’t wing open taxi doors, EVER.

UPDATE: I was walking home when I saw a guy do just about the same thing that I did. Except it wasn’t nearly as close. So I asked him who’s problem would it be if he hit the guy on the moped. His answer: His. He or I or anyone who exits a vehicle has to check and make sure there isn’t a law ignoring, speeding, reckless motorcycle wizzing throw traffic and running light coming up behind them. Huh. Well, this is one instance where Western minds won’t quite agree.

This is something I struggle with. What to do in some types of situations. This is one of them. However they acted the same way I did, so, I am assuming that my response was appropriate.

The situation is as follows.

I walked into Starbucks and ordered my Venti Mocha Frap and Chocolate Muffin. I then walk down stairs to find an outlet. I strutted my stuff down the stairs to drive the girls wild because I saw a few girls at the bottom. After acting extremely dapper, I noticed that there were 3 Americas sitting near where I planned on setting up shop. Now, this is fine. No big deal. However what becomes awkward is that probably in the entire city there is, and I am just guessing, maybe less than 100 Americans. In China the percentage of Americans is super small. Out of 1.4billion people probably less than 300,000 are Americans. I can’t check this because there are really no hard numbers on this. So just a guess.

My questions is this. Should I of said, hello, what’s up, what’s clackalackin or just do nothing like in America. I picked the latter as did they. They talked about baseball and some other non interesting junk. They were probably all pissed because there were in a place where no one understood them and what they were talking about and then this handsome white stallion shows up (me) and now they have to censor their conversation because I speak English. Either way they bailed shortly after. Which was good because there were obstructing my view of all the beautiful girls that were no were to be found.

Oh well all well that ends well my Grandma would say.

After I moved to Vail I learned something. Well actually it was after I was there for a bit. After I became a local of sorts. Yes there were people that lived there their entire lives and are local or native, but then there are the people that live there, work there, and become almost indistinguishable from a “local” person. When you become one of these “locals” you probably don’t know it until something happens. The tourists come.

I was everything but born in Vail. I worked there, lived there, knew people and hung out with people that were born locally. I hung out with people that were in the valley for over 20yrs. On all accounts I was local. I realized this one day, maybe a year into my 3 year stint when the tourists came.

You live somewhere year round you start to think of the place as yours, my valley, my mountain. Then the Texans, tourists, outsiders come and you feel like a swarm of locusts has descended upon your home. I have the same feeling right now in China. The city that I am in is hosting the World Choir Games. So there a tons of foreigners in the city.

What does this make me feel like. I’ll be honest. I’m no longer special. No longer one of a few but a one of the many. I am grouped into the tourist crowd. I can no longer speak Chinese because I am grouped into the nonspeaking crowd. I am an outsider for the next week. I don’t like it. I also don’t like the fact that tourist come in and do whatever they want. Trash the mountain, China, Vail, whatever it is. It’s polluted by the tourist. I suppose that at one point I made people feel the same way. Although I am much more respectful then some people.

I want to speak Chinese, learn the culture, etc.. Not just roll in take advantage of what have you and roll out. Yes this is a generalization of a lot of things. But it is what it is.

I’m sure right now the Chinese people looking at me are thinking the same thing. What the hell is the white guy doing here. Taking our jobs, dating our women, making more money then I can. Guess it’s just the way it is.

Even when there is a new foreigner in town. You start to feel like you’ve lost some of your specialness. Ans lets face it, we all want to be special, stand out, be given attention.

Life is just one big competition. There’s no way around it.

Yep, I’ve been here for over a year and haven’t seen a proper explosion. Sad really. But Friday I did. The city I live in celebrated 2500yrs. You read that right. 2500 years of kicking out the Chinese vibes. Ha you thought North America was all big and bad for 518yrs.

Anyway here are the photos to prove to all you skeptics that yes I did see fireworks.

I am currently sitting in an airport people watching. One of my favorite things to do. I am taking a few days to go to a different city to visit a friend. Well, this is going to be interesting. My friend doesn’t speak any English and I will be without anyone who does. So, I am going to have to speak Chinese for real for the next 3 days. Not that big of a deal. I’ve had to speak Chinese for the last 3 or 4 days anyway. So I think I can get by. But what makes this trip different from the other trips is that I booked everything myself and it will be my first solo trip.

I am traveling to a city where I have never been, staying at a hotel that I have never been, have to speak Chinese, take a bus from a big city to a smaller city without getting lost, and then from that bus stop to the hotel, check in, etc.

It’s going to be interesting to say the least.

Now for some people watching.

Most all the people inside the airports in China are businessmen. Mainly because it’s so expensive. Common people can’t afford to fly. There are a lot of well off people here too. Also because of the expensiveness of flying.

Most all the girls look like they are from Beverly Hills. Big sunglasses and what not. Trying to look all cool. So at least we know where they get their style from.

This airport is nice.

Flying in China is a trip in itself. The like to delay all the flights and blame it on other things. Weather, late arrival of the aircraft, out of gas who knows. But I hear the real reason it that the government controls the airspace. Thus if they don’t want you to take off or something like that you wait. Maybe someone needs to pay someone off to take off, I don’t know, but I wouldn’t doubt it’s something like that. Basically you have to plan on every flight being delayed. All the time. I say that but my flight isn’t delayed. So that kind of contradicts my statements.

I think I am going to practice some of my Chinese while I wait. Sounds like fun. I better saddle up because I don’t see a plane at the terminal yet, I bet that it’s going to be delayed. As usual.

My current phone is a Nokia E71. It’s actually a pretty cool phone. It just lacks a cool UI and programs/applications. Thusly I am going to buy the new Iphone 4 when is comes out in Hong Kong. To the tune of 600USD.

It’s so expensive because it’s unlocked. All phones in China are because you can switch companies, get new numbers, and do pretty much whatever you want whenever you want. Which is awesome. What a specific number, ok, a new number, ok, only want to pay so much money per money, that’s ok too.

I have an Apple guy. He takes care of all the foreigners in the old city I lived in. He is priced fair, gives better service then the Apple stores in the States, and will do whatever you ask within reason.  I have to wait for the phone to come out in Hong Kong and then for him to “smuggle” some across to China. Maybe he doesn’t even have to do that. I mean the factory that makes the Iphone is only an hour away. He might have a connection there. But in any case it’s going to be probably another month. I got to keep it fresh with the bling you know. Haha.

Speaking of keeping it fresh. I need to get new number. I saw one that was something like 158088088008 or something. Chinese love 8′s. This bad boy was 90USD. 600 yuan or so. About 1/4 to 1/2 a workers wage per month. Maybe I’ll snatch it up. Surely it will give me instant face among the ladies. Yeah my number is ling ba ba ling ba ba ling ba ba ba haha. Love it.

Well actually that’s what you are supposed to do and I feel like I am the only one in China that does it. Of course I value my life. It’s not like the Chinese don’t, they just tend not to look.

I’m at an intersection waiting for some cars to go by so that I may proceed in crossing the road in a safe manner. A group of people blow past me into the road without looking, the cars slows down, honk their horns, swerve, and go around. What did the group do, well, they keep talking and slowly walk to the other side. I waited 15 secs and proceeded on my marry way. Is this in indication of Chinese as a whole. I don’t have a clue. Maybe.

I hear a bunch of horns honking. I turn to see two cars turning out of a side street. They are waiting to turn right. There are cars coming from the left but they can’t see them because a massive dump truck wants to turn right down the side street. However there isn’t enough room for the two vehicles side by side. So the car turning out has to do so first. But the dump truck driver doesn’t seem to want to wait. He’s on the horn like it helps fight malaria, inching closer and closer to the car. The car finally just goes. I don’t understand why the dump truck driver couldn’t just put his turn signal on and wait on the side of the road for the cars to exit and then turn in. Makes perfect sense to me.

I’m at McDonalds getting myself the goodness of a Chocolate Sunday. I roll up and wait behind some people in line. A few girls roll up, don’t even look at me, and proceed to talk about menu and cut. I have to basically dry hump the people in front of me to get an elbow in so that these girls don’t take my spot. I then stare them down. They see me and act surprised like oh, didn’t see you there, the only white guy in 25 miles, with a lime green shirt, and is taller then most everyone in here. My bad, please order your ice cream goodness.

Oh I got more. Somewhere, I just can’t recall. Oh here’s one. I was looking at soda today at the store and I hear a “hello.”  Some Chinese guy thought it would be funny when he was passing the isle to say the only English word he knows how to say.

As I was coming out of the store a couple cute girls where walking down the mall area. One happened to see me and totally stopped and told her friend. I am assuming that she said “Oh my goodness, look at this hunk of a white guy coming towards us.” I can only speculate. When I reached them, they were still staring. I couldn’t help it. I had to say something. “Oh my god, a foreigner is coming,”  I think I might of blew their minds. He speaks. AHHHHH.

Well anyway.

I got to brain storming the other day about what has happened in the last year. I have compiled a list of things that I have used or haven’t done. If that makes since. Ok here we go.

I never lived in a building with an elevator before coming to China. I have lived in one for the past year.

I’ve eaten one quarter of a box of mac and cheese in the last year.

3-4 grilled cheeses.

I haven’t had a glass of real chocolate milk for the past year.

I’ve used 2.2 tubes of Carmex in the last year.

I haven’t watched an entire American tv show live.

I’ve almost been hit by a car several times.

I’ve heard the Black Keys once in a bar, The Chili Peppers several times.

I’ve heard a band play Metallica’s Sad But True in a bar live.

I’ve eaten one apple fritter.

Bought one phone.

Eaten pig intestines, dog, brain, etc, etc.

And the mother of them all. I haven’t talked to a white girl (western) in a year. Yes I’ve talked to my mother. But in person, I haven’t met another white girl. I’ve met Russians, Koreans, Chinese, Philippians, Taiwanese.  It’s kind of a weird thing to think about. That really, I’ve only talked to Asian girls for the past year. Crazy. Anyway.

Ok, things that are going to happen when I get home to visit.

I am going to have my mom make, bread, cookies, cinnamon rolls.

Going to eat venison, a long john, steak and potatoes.

Pizza, and whatever else I haven’t had.

Haha. Good times.

Things that I might possibly get in trouble for.

Spitting on the street. Noises while you eat. Drinking beer in public. I’m sure there are more. I just can’t remember.

Anyway. Good times.

Wow, yeah that’s kind of late. I know. The China New Year began on Feb. 14. I think. yeah. Sunday. This means vacation. Well not really. Just a lot of time to be bored. I should of been blogging but I haven’t. Mostly flying my little rc helicopter around and trying to think of way to make it better.

So yeah. Not much going on. The lunar New Year is China’s biggest holiday. I had heard stories about how awesome it was. Fireworks, and all kinds of manly things. However, where I am now. Nothing. Why, well I think big brother had put some restrictions on what you can do within city limits or something. So, I get nothing. I didn’t get to see any fireworks. Little bummed. But whatever. It’s not the end of the world. I plan on taking the rest of the holiday to do nothing. In fact I’m not sure when it ends, to be honest. I think that most of the factories don’t start to get going again until March. I may be wrong though. I would go get another heli but, the store is closed. Like most things here. Since it is the biggest holiday everyone goes home. It’s the biggest migration of humans on the planet. At least that’s what the Discovery Channel said, if I remember it correctly. Anywho here is a link to some photos of the festivities.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/02/welcoming_the_year_of_the_tige.html

I love the big picture. Pretty awesome.

So I guess that I should write a little more. I know that the blog is kinda sicking right now. I’m in a slump. As soon as work starts, things get going, I’ll be in more of a creative mood and ready to get going. But for now, I’m lazy. It also doesn’t help that it’s 8C outside and raining. Yeah that’s right. 45F raining and no heat. Oh man. Think I am going to stay in bed all day.

Peace.

This was my first Christmas what wasn’t white. Well, I suppose that if you count when I was born, it would be my second Christmas. For sure it was the farthest away from home. Weird too. Here Christmas is not an official Holiday. Pretty much a normal Friday night. I mean there was some decorations and sales but nothing compared to the States. So, here is what I did.

Instead of roasting chestnuts I was roasting some meat. Man style. Christmas Eve.

Chicken, beef, some thing that’s kinda like a potato.

Banfan. Rice pot, whatever you want to call it. Nice.

Tend the meat. It’s very important so that you don’t burn the h out of it. Universal around the world.

This is a fish.

39元 all you can eat. Oh, I forgot, all you can drink too.

Afterward we walked around a bit. Strawberries.

A church. This is the first church that I have seen here in the PRC. It was packed too.

Christmas night we went to eat some dumplings. It was Friday night, apparently everyone else had the same idea.

Food on stick. Boiling in water.

The night market.

A fruit cart. Sugar cane, watermelon, pineapple, etc…

We stopped off at a place that has, well, we’re regulars now. Here the dude is making our food. 粘糕。 Something like sticky cake or, well, hell maybe it doesn’t translate.

But it was good. Christmas dinner. Chinese food and beer. Actually this is what I do most nights. So not that special really. But awesome nonetheless.

More hot steamy food action.

We saw a vendor with some make-up. I found this especially interesting since, most of my family work at this brands factory in the States. At least I think they do. I don’t know much about the manufacturing of there, however I am guessing that these are either made where my relatives work or here. Either way, these are fake, stolen, or fell off the back of a truck. Guy didn’t like me taking a photo. Guessing they weren’t too legit. But maybe, who really knows.