Pudding and Chopsticks

I took these photos today out my office window.

This is NORMAL.

Awesome right?

And these dudes where digging something and throwing the dirt in the canal? river? moat? thing..

And they wonder why they have problems with drinking water and what not.

A few months back I updated my iPad and did some developer things to enable multitouch gestures. Four and five finger swipes that are just awesome. In fact I really can’t live without them. Then I waited for iOS 5 to come out and give official support for them. But the it happened. iOS 5 only supports gestures on the iPad 2. Are you effing kidding me. From what I have read they claim it is because it is a hardware issue. They run slow or slow things down. Uh, yeah no. They have worked awesomely. I had no problems what so ever. I call BS. I say that it’s because they want people to buy a iPad 2 to get the features. So, uh, I’m going to have to hack, jailbreak, and or do something else that they don’t want me to do.

It’s easy. If you don’t want me to mod my iPad them give me the features that I want. I’m not some super nerd that wants my iPad to start my car. I’m an advanced user that has realistic ideas about what it should do. And it should do what it’s been doing. So.. yeah. We’ll see what I can make happen. If I can’t do it I’m throwing it in the river across the street. Without the gestures it’s useless.

Alright. Things have been fairly good in this area till a few days ago. I guess that’s what usually happens. Things go ok, then they don’t.

So I bought some more photography equipment. I ordered the goods. I went home and found my internet to be shut off. Great.

Yesterday my stuff arrives. It weight 20-25 kg. I paid 3 USD to ship is from Shanghai. Super cheap, one day, super fast. Awesome. Went home, iPhone internet stopped working.

Today wake up, hungry. Didn’t eat dinner last night. Roll to local food place. See guy haul ass up in a Buick. Stop in front of me, get out and go in food place. I am a meter or two behind him. Half way in he barks his food order at the cook, the cook turns and then turns back and asked me if I want the usual. I say yes. He comes back and says I have to wait. Why? Because douche bag in front of me ordered the last two. EFF.This is why you can’t care about anyone else in China. You have to be the first, yell the loudest and look the meanest. If not you have to wait for everything, get ripped off, and or don’t get anything at all. And I wonder why I have become a little bit of an asshat.

Leave all pissed off.

I guess this is what my grandmother would say is “Murphys law.” Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Dammit I hate this Murphy guy.

It’s just been one of those days. Which has been happening a lot in the past month or two. Trying to find the good in living here in this city, and even in China.

Why has it been such a bad day, well, let me count the ways. I get a day off because it is Mid Autumn Festival. If you don’t know what it is Google it.. So with my brilliance I decided to head downtown. Well really it was the shear fact that I am bored as hell in the out skirts. Really nothing to do but drink and bang hookers with the latter being something I don’t do. So I headed in, which meant that I was on a bus with the entire population of eastern China. On a holiday everyone has the day off. So, everyone wants to go to the big city.

I walked through my apartment complex to be stopped by banging door guy. You can read about him here. He said that my coworker that was supposed to take care of paying something didn’t. Go figure. And get this, this coworker has since quit and left my place of employment. Now, this guy wanted me to give him my number, uh, yeah not happening, then wanted my coworkers number, I don’t know it, then asked my how I don’t know it. I told him I see him everyday why do I need his number. That seemed to satisfy him. Anyway, this brings me to another planned blog post about the level of competence here, or rather a lack thereof. Next time. So I told him that I would have someone call him or some bs tomorrow. Great some more bullshit I have to deal with. Great isn’t it.

So I head downtown. Did I mention that it was hot in the bus. Actual Chinese people started to complain about it, I get hot way way faster then Chinese people do. So when they complain it’s hot, it’s effing hot. Finally after waiting like 10 minutes to stop at a bus stop, there was a long line of buses to drop off, they turned on the air. Not after everyone started yelling at the driver and money taker girl. And after they yelled back. After an argument. Finally air.

I got off and got on another bus. It was supposed to be a short little ride to the place that I was going. But no, it seems that everyone with a car also wanted to come downtown.

Finally off the bus after an hour and at my destination. That stop went fairly well. Now off to the next one. I walked a bit, hit up the fake dvd store, then walked a bit more to the new shiny mall. Where I had some ice-cream. Did that go smoothly, well, kind of. I had to wait for 5 mins for a little fat kid to make up his mind about what he wanted.

Then I headed to Starbucks where I usually go. Found a place to near some girls that looked like students. They stared at me for a good 2-3 mins until I asked them if they had a problem. To which they replied no. Couldn’t get on the wireless, hrmm. Well that figures.

After a bit I head to the store across the way and walk around. After passing five Porsches, 10 BMW 700s, tens of tens of Audis, a Hummer, a Jeep, I get board and frustrated and decide to head back and cry myself to sleep. To the bus stop where I wait for 20 minutes in the blazing hot sun for a bus to arrive, FULL. Great. I then hail a cab, which stops, and we speed off. We then get to my street. He says straight, I say left turn. He confirms left turn, then goes straight. I say left turn, he backs up in the middle of the road. We then finally make it to my complex and I get out. Alive. Awesome.

I chill at home and watch a movie. I got a little hungry so I head down to a local spot I go to at least once a week. I order something I always get. I then go get a soda at the store and some dumplings at a different restaurant. Then it happens. Something that has NEVER happened. The new guy at my local place tells me that I can’t eat other places food in his place. Ok, I get it. It’s the same in the US. But that’s one of the reasons I like China. I can do whatever. Get food from three effing places if I want then eat it all at one place. But this time no, new guy didn’t like it. I think one of the workers that knows me told new guy to chill out.

Then my food arrives, yeah, after which I get this notion that it’s not quite right. I try a few bits and nope. It tastes nothing like before, the rice is cold, there is a lot of liquid in the bottom of the plate, WTF.. Great, can’t a guy get a little consistency here.. Apparently not. Anyway I was pissed so I spit out the food back on the plate in front of the workers, threw my money on the table and bailed to the restaurant where I bought my dumplings.

Again, lately it’s been hard to find things I like here. Really hard.

So here is another analogy between Mad Men, read: the 1950-60s in America, and China.

I have been planning on having a girl over to watch a movie and help me pick out bed sheets. Sounds like a plan right? Well it is. But it’s all with good intentions. I’ve known her for a bit and she hasn’t wanted to come to my apartment till now. Which can mean a few things. All are good. But this is China and you can’t plan taking a piss because something will come up. That’s right. My boss flew in yesterday, which is no big deal. We never have dinner together. I’m not worried about it. This morning he drops it on us that he has some customers coming in today. Ok fine that’s great. Then a few seconds ago I got a text saying that we are eating dinner together tonight, read: my plans are shit.

I hate this sometimes, no, in fact most all the time. There are times when I want to go out because I haven’t in a while. But usually the boss just springs in on me and I have to go. I could be planning a special dinner for a girl, going to have a awesome make out session, but then an hour before I get out of work the boss will tell me that I have to have dinner with him and some customers. Just like Mad Men. You have to wine and dine, go out and party, smooze with booze, hit on the ladies, be that guy for the customer. Now, I get pushed into this because I am a manager and I am white. What customer wants to travel to China and hang with a bunch of people he can’t communicate with, no one. But the white guy that speaks English, well, hell ya. Cancel his date with the hot ass model looking girl and make him have dinner with me.

Now I have to tell the girl that I can’t make it when I made a big deal out of canceling things a while ago. Damnit. You just can’t win can you.

But on the flip side everything will be free tonight, food, booze, and maybe even a little singing action. On the down side, I could be missing a make out session with a girl I have been crushing on for a good bit.

One day I will be obscenely rich and powerful and will get to lay waste to everyone’s plans and make them do what I please.

One day.. one day..

*update: the girl that I canceled on, like I suspected totally understood. Why? Because that is the way it is here. All the time. You can’t rely on anything and plans get scrapped all the time. She also made a good point that the boss probably didn’t want to go out either. To which I should reply that he makes probably 100 times what I make and one night out to rack in a few orders he can live with. My salary on the other had is set and will not go up because I go get drunk with a few businessmen.

Another reason why she didn’t complain is the fact that she knows that my boss pays me and I need to respect him and give him face, thus keeping our relationship on good terms and the money from my salary rolling in. So she sees a direct connection between going out and me getting paid. I on the other hand see, me going out to someone else getting paid.

But yeah, such is life in China. I will have to reschedule my make out session another day.

So yesterday we had a little tissy. The workers that I am in charge of have been bothering me everyday for more money. Every effing day. EVERYDAY. It gets real annoying. Everyday I tell them that I have already talked to the big boss and he is thinking about it.

So yesterday I got my answer. Yes more money for the workers but also more work. That’s not really what they wanted to hear. In-any-case I had to have a little meeting to tell all the girls about it (all my dept. workers are women).

I told them that they all get raises. Some get 23% more and a few get 20% more money each month. But it comes with the stipulation that they all have to know how to do each others job.

You what what happened when I told them? Nothing. They actually were angry it wasn’t more. I don’ t know what the hell they are thinking, or what they were thinking was going to happen. They said that there are other people that make more money and they think that they should have the same amount. It was hard to explain to them why they only got this much and and more then this amount was NOT going to get approved. So they should be happy. They were not. Then they asked when it was going to take effect. I said this month. July. They were not happy. They wanted to to take effect two month ago and not this month.

One girl quit today. WTF.

What the hell. You know, I think it’s mainly this place. It could be the rest of China as well, but I think that this specific place is the extreme. Other places make less than what my workers make and well, they seem to be happy. But I don’t work there so I don’t truly know.

Also the one girl wanted to quit last week then decided to leave for three days. We didn’t have anyone to do her job so her work piled up. She came back and was pissed that she had to do her job. HER ACTUAL JOB. I don’t know what’s wrong with these people. It might be isolated to this place, but man, I don’t get it.

I also moved some tables around for a few of the girls when they asked. Then they said they wanted another ceiling fan. I got them another ceiling fan. You know what happened the next day? They bitched that the fan was in the wrong spot.

So to summarize.

Action

Gave workers 20-23% wage increase.

Gave them fans. Gave them a form of air conditioning.

Move table around so they were happy.

Reaction

Bitched about the date the wage increase goes into effect

Fans in wrong spot, room still too hot even though it is way cooler than the last 10 yrs they have worked here.

One girl quit most others not happy.

I have to say that everyday is exciting.

No wonder there are labor strikes everywhere. Less about actual inflation and more about actual greediness. Coupled with the fact that workers right’s have increased dramatically and you a whole lot of hassle on your hands.

*I do know that inflation is an actual problem. But less then a hour away I know of another factory where the workers make 30 % less than what mine do.. They seem to be doing fine.

So, sorry this is going to be a rant. So prepare.

I knew that this would happen. Effing flights in China are always late, ALWAYS late. All the damn time. With the exception of my flight here, shit is always delayed. Always.

I don’t know why, I don’t think anyone knows why. The later in the day your flight is, the more delayed it seems. And don’t look at departure times to judge efficiency of the airlines here. As long as the door closes on time, the flight is considered on time. What kind of crock bullshit is that.

I once sat for 2 hrs on a flight because of that. Jesus. They can’t even make simple widgets right, what the hell makes me think that they can coordinate a massive amount of planes, and what not at one time. Please. No wonder the flights are always late.

I can’t type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. So /rant.

First, I am getting my ass handed to me by all these effing mosquitos here, in the middle of a massive airport. Don’t ask me how they got here but they did. They seem rather attracted to my beautiful white skin.

So, Hong Kong. Yeah. I get back to work I am going to actually hit a man. Possibly.

Let’s rewind a month ago. I told the guy who handles the visa that I needed to start getting the paper work in order. Sometimes these things can take awhile and I wanted to make sure that I didn’t miss anything. It was going to be my first working visa. I was stoked.

Fast forward to two weeks ago when I booked my ticket. Actually maybe it was a little more than two weeks ago. Either way I told me that he had till the 17th to get the paper work done. He assured me that everything would be fine.

The day before I left I was still missing a piece of paper. This piece of paper officially invites me to come work in China. I was told by him that he would get it to me the next day. The day that I was leaving. I was a little worried that it was going to be incorrect because it is supposed to state where you go to get the visa. So in my case it would need to say Hong Kong.

He gave me the letter and what did it say. That’s right, it said America. He said that it shouldn’t be a problem. I knew something was going to go wrong. Nothing ever goes right here, or rather in life. As my mom would say life is a shit sandwich and we are stuck taking bites everyday.

So I left anyway. I got to Hong Kong and checked into the hotel.

The next day I hit up the visa agent. Now I could do this myself but the letter said America, and these places usually have a way of still getting things done. Whether they saw the letter they said that it probably wouldn’t work. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I was Told to come back at noon to find out.

Noon rolls around and I go back. They tell me the good news, my visa was rejected because the letter states that I have to go to America to apply for the working visa. I have to now go get a new correct letter that says that I can apply in Hong Kong.

I was so effing pissed. I don’t think that I have ever been so pissed off. To make a long story short I had to get a tourist visa to get back into China. Here I am sitting at an airport heading back to my home city. Tomorrow I will go into work and ream the effing ass of the stupid mother effer that was supposed to take care of this. He left me no time to change the letter by giving it to me the day I left. If I would of got it a week or more before I left I could of had him change it. But no, this dick head had to wait like he does with everything, even though I was on him about it. So I blew close to a grand USD for a effing tourist visa that states that I have to leave every thirty days.

The company better reimburse me or pay for the next trip to get the correct visa or so help me god I will start to damage things.

Toodles

I just read a new piece online about a jet that crashed in China. Oh great.

Here is the link to the story. HERE

Basically it looks like Henan Airlines Jet, which was/is a Brazilian-made Embraer E-190 made jet broke apart just before landing at Lindu airport.

Nice news to wake up to. I don’t fly a lot. Maybe every two to three months. But still. Dang. This would suck.

Anyway, so, if taking care of airplanes is anything like the way they take are of care then there is reasons to be concerned. But I doubt that’s the case. At least I hope so.