Pudding and Chopsticks

HAPPY NEW YEAR, uh, bring in the dragon?.. Or something.

The calm before the storm.

The storm

You can see in the distance, it’s like WW3. Think of it like every American could go buy mortar shells and light them off anywhere. Yeah, it’s that awesome.

Yes your seeing that correctly. Merely a few meters from the APARTMENT BUILDING they light off some mortar shells. Does it make me feel like a little kid again in the sticks blowing up things, YES.

I was getting it on both sides of my building so I had to race back and fourth. This was a cluster of three or four people lighting them off in the same apartment complex area. At MIDNIGHT..

So it’s New Years Eve here in China. Tomorrow is the first day of the new lunar year.

I’ll get straight to the point.

FIREWORKS.

I love fireworks, which is good because for two to three days straight, especially tonight, it sounds like WW3.

Yes folks, that in the middle of the apartment complex area. In the middle of all the buildings. Got to love it.

Enough danger to make a police officer cringe..

BOOM!

Actually let me be more specific, they are not toys but professional photography equipment. Sans my last post I have been trained to use them and will be doing so in the future.

I paid 5500RMB or about 861USD for all of it. Which is actually quite good. Now, I will say that it all was made in China but really, the company is a manufacturer for other brands and has a pretty good reputation. It’s the best of what you are going to get in China. I did a lot of homework before I plunked my legally earned money on it.

I looked it up and buying the same things in the States runs about 1872 or so USD. And before you say anything, that’s all China made what nots too. In fact some are the same things just branded different and marked up over double.

Anyway, as long as it gets the job done.

I got bored last night and took some photos of a Chinese RedBull can.

Check it out. And hopefully I’ll follow through with an idea I have.

View from the Hospital.

So this morning I joined a friend of mine to go to see his mother-in-law at the local hospital. Don’t worry everything is fine. A 600 USD appendix surgery and she is as good as new.

That wasn’t really the point of this post. This was:

Looks like the daughter of some dude wheeled him out into the road for some fresh air. A little odd yes, but hey, if I’m about ready to go my son or daughter better wheel my ass to Ball’s Ice Ice-cream for a flurry thing and a chili cheese dog or I’ll be really pissed off.

I am the number one result on google for the phrase  battlestar galactica chopsticks.

This is because it appears that no one has even really written at length about Battlestar Galatica within a blog with the word Pudding is it’s name.

Either way, I’m sure my parents are proud.

I have reached my goals as a human being. People of the Internet, people of the world, read these words carefully.

I am in the top ten in google search results for the phrase “do Chinese shit in the streets.”

My wildest dreams have been fulfilled.

It’s 6:30 pm and I’m still drunk. At least for the most part. I’m watching Ktv girls walk into work. Aka, prostitutes. Well, I could be wrong. Some might be just hired guns that can drink.

I’ve been drunk for about 5 hours, maybe 6, I can’t remember. The power was shut off at the factory. In fact it was shut off to the whole area. Traffic lights off, factories shut down, mopeds not being charged, what better else to do but go drink.

We get a call at 11:30am not much past the time we find out that the power went off. The call confirms what we had thought all along. A drinking afternoon. Pretty much a given. The powers off, the factory can’t work, not much else to do but some male bonding. And that I did. The perfect chance to drink with the one person that my future relies on. The one person that controls my fate. The person that is in charge of getting me my next visa. And bond I do. I cheers him like I’m leaving for good tomorrow. Does he know what is going on, maybe, do I, for sure.

We arrive at the new restaurant about noon. A new place in a new development. The boss must know the owner, if not own it. I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s upscale but not too upscale. Of course we go the biggest room this establishment offers, I wouldn’t except anything less.

We are each given our own bottle of the local flavor, 400ml of 15% alcohol and shot glasses. At least this time we are given shot glasses. Beats downing entire regular glasses of this stuff. Now it’s beginning to feel a little like home. All I need is a pile of salt and a lime.

The duck tongues come out, along with veggies, meat, and other Chinese dishes. Nothing new really. I’ve become immune to Chinese food. Hell you could bring out bull nuts and I wouldn’t ink twice about gnawing on one. Just another day in the PRC.

The food is good, the company is good, the second bottle is down, the third has a dent in it and everyone is buddy buddy. We bail.

I get a girls number and start texting. Five texts in and she already wants to learn English. Why am I not surprised. Anyhow I sit typing this in a coffee shop. I could of either passed out, or went to town, I went to town. Not much else to do after your drunk and it’s 3 pm.

A little coffee and some Internet goes a long way to build a man’s self esteem. A rack of dumplings and here I am watching the girls go to work.

There is a singing joint not the third floor of the mall, the girls enter through the door right in front of me. Is this fate, hardly, I chose this seat for a reason.

Whether they sell their bodies is up for debate. Here they might not, it seems upscale, but the dirtier places, they do and for cheap.

Hell it’s almost seven and I’ve got to be getting home. Lots of nothing to be doing there. It’s kind of refreshing to be blasted in the afternoon. As if nothing really matters. Because really, if work can’t work and you -can’t work, why not. The day’s of the scotch in the office are gone. In the States at least. The 1950′s are over. Which is a shame really. Because I must say I enjoy the occasional afternoon binge..

First let me say, yes, I have an iPad. I just got it about a week ago. Don’t think that I that I am that person with all the latest gadgets because I have more money than I know what to do with. China has it’s fair share of those. China probably has more than its fair share. I got the iPad for work, and play, but mostly for work. And let me tell you that it has turned out better than have imagined, it’s basically built for exactly what I do.

When I am in the factory I have to look at PDFs of designs, drawings, orders, etc. I for one don’t like to lug around a computer, nor a massive stack of papers. But with the iPad, I don’t have to. Every single thing that I need is with me at all times. It’s amazing.

I got a dictionary that has handwriting input, radical input, and pinying input. I got the ability to edit excel docs, view PDFs, and photos. I can play games, look at the Internet, and even edit photos. I can take photos with my phone and send them to the iPad, I can email all of the above. Really it replaces my commuter for everything but actual designing and heavy computing. Freedom at last.

Right this moment I am typing on Ia writer. Which is a beautiful writing app. I can listen to my music or Pandora radio. I can play two player games one it or over Bluetooth. Really this is what my mom and dad should both have. It will for the most part never slow down, get a virus, or crash like stupid pcs do. It’s hands on and intuitive. You can Skype on it, watch movies and everything else they want to do. No mouse, long battery life and Internet. My mother lives in the sticks and can’t get anything but dialup for Internet. Not really the best of the web you could say. But I could get her one of these and a prepaid at&t sim card and she could finally actually read this blog.

I’m thinking about it. At least it would give her something to do.

Anyway, time to actually write about something that maybe someone actually cares about besides me

The bee’s knees if one way to describe the awesomeness of this place.

These little bad boys get steamed.

Then put into a little travel box with pepper stuff. Talk about a wake me up. Booyaaaa…

So I have only been privy to attending one Chinese wedding, and even that wasn’t really anything too awesome. I barely knew the Bride and Groom and didn’t stay long. However I have seen my fair share of parades and festivities from the outside. From what I can gather it’s all a contest of how much of my wealth can I show the world. Case in point.

That’s right folks. These are all Mercedes Benz for, what I can only guess is, shuffling wedding people from one place to another. Yep. All rented. Oh, I forgot the mention the Bentley, yes, a Bentley at the front of the line. All complete with drivers.

And billboards with the couple’s photo on them. Really? Yes really.

Cute!

Don’t forget the fireworks. These bad boys are cheap and everywhere. In fact I could, right now, 8pm, for buy a box of these motar shells and let them rip anywhere I please. No stupid laws to get in the way of my childhood dreams.

Smack dab in front of the hotel where I assume there are eating and trying to make a baby tonight.

I got a friend that I hope this year will have a big wedding because I really, really want to be in charge of the pyrotechnics.

As far as the showing of wealth goes. This wedding probably cost more then a wedding in the States. And I suppose you argue that weddings in the States are kind of the same thing. At least in China you get a 红包 “red envelope.” Translation: MONEY!