Pudding and Chopsticks

This dudes looking for crawfish, and I can only guess why.

I suppose I am smart in passing up these little bad boys everytime the boss takes me to the “boat” for lunch. Nice clean water.. Can’t you tell?

This was the cute little cow that inhabited the sidewalk and probably the dining area of a local restaurant for two days.

You ready for it…

This is the cow now..

That’s right. They butchered it right in the middle of the sidewalk and then proceeded to sell it. Yes a little odd. But I grew up with these things deer hunting. More in the woods and less on the sidewalk though.

I called a friend and she rolled down and bought some. Apparently it was fairly cheap. Anywho, that’s life.

So I was walking my morning route which involves hitting up my local dumpling place and then around the block when I spotted something. Something that I haven’t ever seen here before. Not that it really surprised me. If anything I was surprised that I hadn’t seen it before. Anyway take a gander and hopefully you find it as funny as I do.

This fine food establishment is called something like, Genuine Cattle Meat Restaurant. Well, at least it’s fresh..

Oh and by the way, that little cardboard sign on that post. Yeah, it states that on the 23 of this month, today, they will kill the cow.. Hot dog. Looks like lunch is going to be cattle steak.

It’s 6:30 pm and I’m still drunk. At least for the most part. I’m watching Ktv girls walk into work. Aka, prostitutes. Well, I could be wrong. Some might be just hired guns that can drink.

I’ve been drunk for about 5 hours, maybe 6, I can’t remember. The power was shut off at the factory. In fact it was shut off to the whole area. Traffic lights off, factories shut down, mopeds not being charged, what better else to do but go drink.

We get a call at 11:30am not much past the time we find out that the power went off. The call confirms what we had thought all along. A drinking afternoon. Pretty much a given. The powers off, the factory can’t work, not much else to do but some male bonding. And that I did. The perfect chance to drink with the one person that my future relies on. The one person that controls my fate. The person that is in charge of getting me my next visa. And bond I do. I cheers him like I’m leaving for good tomorrow. Does he know what is going on, maybe, do I, for sure.

We arrive at the new restaurant about noon. A new place in a new development. The boss must know the owner, if not own it. I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s upscale but not too upscale. Of course we go the biggest room this establishment offers, I wouldn’t except anything less.

We are each given our own bottle of the local flavor, 400ml of 15% alcohol and shot glasses. At least this time we are given shot glasses. Beats downing entire regular glasses of this stuff. Now it’s beginning to feel a little like home. All I need is a pile of salt and a lime.

The duck tongues come out, along with veggies, meat, and other Chinese dishes. Nothing new really. I’ve become immune to Chinese food. Hell you could bring out bull nuts and I wouldn’t ink twice about gnawing on one. Just another day in the PRC.

The food is good, the company is good, the second bottle is down, the third has a dent in it and everyone is buddy buddy. We bail.

I get a girls number and start texting. Five texts in and she already wants to learn English. Why am I not surprised. Anyhow I sit typing this in a coffee shop. I could of either passed out, or went to town, I went to town. Not much else to do after your drunk and it’s 3 pm.

A little coffee and some Internet goes a long way to build a man’s self esteem. A rack of dumplings and here I am watching the girls go to work.

There is a singing joint not the third floor of the mall, the girls enter through the door right in front of me. Is this fate, hardly, I chose this seat for a reason.

Whether they sell their bodies is up for debate. Here they might not, it seems upscale, but the dirtier places, they do and for cheap.

Hell it’s almost seven and I’ve got to be getting home. Lots of nothing to be doing there. It’s kind of refreshing to be blasted in the afternoon. As if nothing really matters. Because really, if work can’t work and you -can’t work, why not. The day’s of the scotch in the office are gone. In the States at least. The 1950′s are over. Which is a shame really. Because I must say I enjoy the occasional afternoon binge..

Some photos from the local fine dining northern china establishment. We got street cred with the owner. Still trying to work that into some sort of discount. Soon my friends.

Beef, onion, spice, lettuce taco. What in America we would call “the shit”

I’m a fan of spicy food. This is common knowledge. So last week we went to Sichuan food again. A common occurrence. I’ve blogged about this before so no need t restate the awesomeness of this place’s food. So on to more photos.

There is this place very near my house that have 麻辣汤. MaLa Tang. It’s a type of spicy soup or hot pot thing and it’s awesome. It’s hot, spicy and goes good with beer. Actually it translates to something like, hot and numbing soup. I could be wrong though.. Whatever it is it’s spectacular.

I usually go and order a lot. Sometimes I hit the place with another person. We proceed to order a ton of food and drink a bunch of beer. The ities gets real heavy. Anyway, here are some photos.

How you order is grab a bunch of junk, throw it in a basket, and then give it to someone who looks like they work there.. They procced to boil it into awesomeness.

This is how you chop meat in China.

The bee’s knees if one way to describe the awesomeness of this place.

These little bad boys get steamed.

Then put into a little travel box with pepper stuff. Talk about a wake me up. Booyaaaa…

That’s right, I said it. They’re corn looking things made of heaven. Inside it a blast of the angels themselves. All for 90 cents.

Ba bam.

They come in a kind of popcorn bag of sorts. But don’t let that fool you.

Hello there sweet sweet goodness.

Prepare for taste busting awesomeness.

I’m going to use almost in a very loose way and say that they are almost as awesome as my mother’s creampuffs. But really I shouldn’t kid myself. It’s going to be sometime before I get some creampuffs from her, so, I suppose that these will do for now.

I knew it was coming up. There has been some talk about it on the blogs during the past few weeks. November 1 was the start date for the 2010 Chinese census. One that would included foreigners. So, while I was drying my man body off from a hot manly shower yesterday morning I hear beating on the door. At first I didn’t quite know what it was. I put some manly clothes on and went to inspect what was up. It was a nice young women that wanted to know who lived at the apartment and what not. I answered some questions. 8 or so. Maybe less. Who I was, did I go to college, have kids, when I first came to China, and that was about it. Didn’t check visa or passports. Was quite refreshing actually. She also asked about a friend that was also living at the house. Although he wasn’t home at the time. She wanted to know when he was going to be back. I told her tomorrow night.

So what happens the next morning. She is beating on the door again even though I specifically said that it would be best if she came back tomorrow night. In either case he was home and got it taken care of pdq. So in April of next year we will find out the results. What it will mean, hell, I don’t know.

And now for some photos from America. The second morning that I woke up at my grandmas house. I mean really. Staying with grandma is incredibly awesome. I had her and my mom work me up some pancakes. Of course the stock syrup grandma has is nothing other than real Michigan maple. This is one of the things I love about my grandma. She from a different era, and still lives by some of those customs. One of which is food. Real butter, real maple syrup, and real cast iron skillets.

Totally awesome.