Pudding and Chopsticks

So while I was trampling around the capital I went to the Forbidden City. Check it out..

So a week or two ago I headed up to Beijing to check some things out again. I went with a few friends and their family.

Here are photos of the Great Wall.

More images from though-out the trip coming soon.

Took this photo today at lunch. Had a good laugh.

Is missing.

This happens every morning. As they prepare for the rest of the day it looks like their kitchen isn’t big enough. So they expand.

I would imagine it would be very very hard to regulate this. How would a national administration regulate something like this.. They couldn’t. Hell even a local cop couldn’t.

First he would have to not take bribes.

Second he would have to actually care

Third he would be fighting against peoples lives and how they make money.

Result=FAIL

So my apartment lease expires and my landlord contacted me about it. After that was all taken care of she then did what every other Chinese women does when she is married and has gotten a little older. She starts to hook people up. So she asks me if I have found a girl friend or not, yada yada yada.

I have not. There are multiple reasons, mostly because this city is the devil. But whatever. Maybe I suck. I’m blaming the city though. So I say no and she asks me what I am looking for. I give the standard Chinese answer. Good skin, not short, not tall, good disposition, smart, etc. All the things that make a good wife. She says that she has a friend that meets all of those. How lucky of me.

Let’s break this down. She only knows that I work in China. Speak Chinese, and am from America.

And she wants to hook me up. Probably wants to dump an older 30 yr old women on me. Because foreigners are not as interested nor are dead set on a girl under the age of 25. Chinese are. If she introduced me to a girl in her 30s it would mean that she didn’t get married, or is divorced and thus Chinese men would think she is defective in some way. Foreigners don’t think like that. But also she only thing that sets me apart from a Chinese guy is the fact that I am American. Which means that I have beautiful white skin, pretty eyes, and speak English. So could these be the only things that she is interested in? Well perhaps I am thinking too much.

She said that she wanted to treat her friend and I to dinner and introduce us. I had to say that I was a little too embarrassed to have that happen. Just think of the awkwardness if I couldn’t understand what they were saying. So I saved her face and told her to give the women my QQ number. So that’s all good.

We will see what the deal is. I am waiting for the women to contact me through this chat program so that we can.. well hell, I’m not sure. The Chinese way of dating is not to date.

Something like this. Meet girl, friends, engaged, married. yep. They DO NOT date around. So basically being friends with a Chinese girl and doing all the dating things that you would do with a girl in America would be like you are dating in America without sex. But dating in China is like being exclusive in America.. I know it doesn’t make sense. I don’t really understand it either.

Anyway. I’ll keep this updated because I know you are all dying to know what Chinese girls are like.

I talked with a friend of mine and apparently they know that there is a problem with pick pockets. But if it happens to you, you can’t do anything about it. Pick pockets might shank you or worse make a phone call. They travel in packs of a massive amount and all know each other. They could make a phone call and have 50 show up or something.

He said that you can call the cops but they won’t really do anything because they out number the cops. And even if they detain them the next day they probably let them go. So even though my buddy is aware of this, there is really nothing that can be done.

I find this is the answer with a lot of problems here.

If they stop all fake products thousands of people will loose their job. You see where I’m going with that..

Anyway, yeah. Such is China.

This is what the line outside of McDonald’s looks like.

I was going to enjoy some Oreo goodness until a swarm of Chinese people lined up. Yep, I’m included everyone here. Mostly because the majority of Chinese line up the same way. Which makes me the odd ball out. So really it’s only weird to me. But I need something to write about so here it is.

I was lined up behind two girls when like 3 different people tried to cut. We all know why, that damn soft serve. Anyway the cashier tried to get them to query up better but no one listened. My 2 person wait turned into like 6 and it seemed like no one had made their mind up yet. I bailed. This was going to end one way and that is a 10 minute wait for something that should of took 3 minutes if everyone lined up in an orderly fashion and looked at the menu before they reached the window. But this is China and not everyone is like me..

So… whatever. Next time I’ll get my flurry goodness.

I always keep an eye on my things even though I probably don’t have to. But riding the bus something gets really crowded. So I usually put my wallet in the front of my jeans. Some of my shorts have buttons or a latch device in the rear so I can latch that up and not worry about it.

Having been to Shanghai a few times I have noticed pick pockets before. Really it’s painfully obvious. So last night while I was walking around town I noticed a kid running around. Maybe a year old. Western Chinese. You could say from Xinjiang probably. I then saw a man on a cell phone sitting next to the sidewalk. Then two women. One next to a stroller with a ton of crap in it, like they just got down shopping. And another women standing there. I was about 50 meters out. I knew exactly what they where.

Pick pockets and what not here usually have strollers and kids. I guess it makes people not even think twice. And since I have seen quite a few go about it this way I will assume that it’s probably pretty effective. Anyway, as I walk by I see a couple, younger, maybe college kids roll towards the group of 3 people. I then see, right in front of me, the women that was just standing there drag race up behind the couple, stick her hand in the dudes jacket and try to pull something out. If there was anything in there. The guys head turns around and catches a glimpse of her moving away. Unless he is mentally retarded he had to of deduced that she was trying to nab his junk. She just casually walked turned around and waited for the next target to roll up. The couple just kept going.

So… this is a problem on a few levels. One. The victim probably didn’t call the police, or confront them (who knows, they might of gotten stabbed) but they didn’t do anything. Thus, the perp can just keep going and not have anything happen. Now really I don’t know if they called the police but I sure as hell didn’t see them on their phone right afterwards waiting for the cops to arrive.

Two, maybe they didn’t call the police because they knew that the police probably wouldn’t do shit. Maybe.

Three, they were dumb enough to fall for something that I even read about on English sites. It has to be on Chinese sites. And hell, Chinese people rarely trust strangers so why did they not see that one coming. Maybe they are sick in love, if that’s the case then awesome, but Jesus, get some street smarts.

Four, every pick pocket I see is from Western China. Doesn’t really show how awesome the Western part is does it. Maybe they are from a different ethnic group. They feel it’s ok to come here and steal from the Han ethnic group which makes up like 90% or something. I don’t know. But it would be like, all pick pockets in NY are from Texas.. You just don’t see that type of thing happen.

It also happens with pregnant ladies. For sure.. So any weird looking group that is pregnant or has small kids.. Watch out.. But really it’s pretty obvious. Oh and don’t call them out.. They might stab you or something. Who knows.. Would you want to be stabbed.. Not me..

So yeah, when in China take care of your crap. It’s pretty simple. Yet it seems that pick pockets are still out which mean one thing… There’s a sucker born everyday.

Here is a video.. It happens everyday all the time here in China. And you bet your bottom it happens in touristy areas a lot more..

There has to of been people see this happen. HAS TO. Just shows you how much people care about one another here.

Found this at the DVD store the other day. And by DVD store I mean quasi legal and when the special cops are in town they don’t sell the foreign DVDs.

Oh look. Steve Jobs must of passed away.

This is what the real cover looked like.

This is China.. Where IP protection is… Well, is nothing for the most part.

I guess you may think that I hate China. I don’t. If I lived in America still I might show photographs of people doing dumb things, interesting and possibly culturally different things than what I may be used to.

There are a few things that China could improve on. But that’s just my view. A view of a person who would rather not get his new Chuck Taylors soaked in come kids bodily excrements. But if I did it would be my fault for not watching where I was walking.

Mother doing her job teaching her little girl where to go to the bathroom.