The next couple of posts are going to be what I wrote on the plane and the first day here. Enjoy.
Jesus. This flight is taking forever it seems. So far we are 9 hours and 45 minutes into it. It feels like a week longs detention. Really. Man. The flight from LA to San Fran was good. But when I got to San Fran I didn’t have time to blog or even watch people. I didn’t even have time to hit up a McDonalds. It’s beside the fact I couldn’t find one. I had to go to the international terminal. Wasn’t in any real rush but I didn’t have much time. I wanted to get boarded and see what I could do about these two carry on bags. I really didn’t want to have one by my feet. I have one by my feet. If the bin was 1-2 inches taller. It would great. I guess it isn’t that bad. I can stretch one leg out by the airframe and the other we might have to amputate. Lets see, we are just inside of China, passed Khabarovsk a while back. Think that is in Siberia. Who knows. 977 miles till touchdown, 31,500 ft high, 5,074 miles since San Fran, I got a little reggae on. Katchafire. Awesome.
Did you ever wonder what the hell a country is anyway? I got to thinking about it. It’s a line in some dirt or sand. Either it was taken by force or by barter. For survival. Think about it. I need land to grow crops and what not. The more or better land I have the more that I can survive and provide for my family and the betterment of my species. That’s about it. Kind of weird. Man there are lots of Chinese people on this flight. Full too. What I wouldn’t do for some In N Out right now.. Even some DQ. An Oreo blizzard. I might even let some kid turn my face into a pirate. Who wouldn’t want to go through customs with a pirate face? That would be awesome. Yeah awesome. Anyway I took some pics of some noodle snack that tasted like cardboard. 15-cent roman is better. But whatever I took it down. I guess lunch is coming up soon. Can’t wait..
I just want to get up and dance and shake the booty. I need it I can’t feel my butt checks. Is that bad? Whatever. Ill be out of here in 2 hours. Oh I forgot you know what made me super mad… yeah no free booze. What the hell is that? I want my international free booze. 6 bucks a pop. Yeah f that.. You can that that and shove it United. Damn that sucks. So far 3 diet cokes with ice. A white Russian would be so bomber right now. Man. Cream and heavy on the Kailua. Boooya.
So my last meal in American was enchiladas. Thanks Jenna. It was awesome. Not even regretting it today, so far so good. I had some reservations about taking down Mexican food before a day of 14 hours worth of flights. But all is good. I’m hungry.
Order of business one when I get to Shenyang, foot massage. Soo good. Soo cheap. So good. That’s all I want. To sit there and have some girl rub the bejesus out of my paddles. Size 12.. You don’t get that in China. In fact I should have brought more shoes because you can’t find much over size 10 there.
There is a guy behind me that must be married to a Chinese women, younger guy, they have a cute little girl. The thing that kicks ass is that he speaks English like me.. Then busts out some Mandarin like it’s well water at my mom’s house. Which by the way is way, way better then tap water from LA. Let me tell you. Huver you agree. We talked about that. I am again hungry. Damn. There’s some women across the aisle she looks like she’s is about to turn to dirt she is so old. No offense. I just get a running nose around dust. You know. Cute little girl speaking Chinese.. Awesome.. Old lady about to turn to dust is smiling at little girl. Opp now she’s back to sleep. Must be great to be able to fall asleep. I slept 2 hours last night. That’s it. Then when I get to sleep on the plane the damn stewardess hits me with a styrofoam thing of cardboard noodles. What’s this world coming to? 10 hours and 7 minutes. Some guys walking laps. Still cant fell my butt checks. Will try again in a minute. Really want to open window shade. Would that be a d bag move when everyone else is sleeping. Probably. Saw a girl that looked like she was twelve with two cartons of cigarettes form the duty free store. Damn. What the hell is duty free? I swear that the stores in the airport are nicer than the mall. Don’t save much, 10-20 bucks, but then again that like 6 foot rubdowns. Now I see what the big deal is.. I must investigate. Watching some Discovery Channel. Got to love it. Hey look Kidrobot. That’s cool.
I want more Diet Coke.. Wait, I see movement, maybe some food. Or booze. Ok that’s wishful thinking.