Pudding and Chopsticks

Tower thing. Looks like a giant… tower thing.

The Apple store in Shanghai. I won’t go in. Mainly because I probably know more then the employees anyway, and I waiting for a redesign of the Macbook Pro before I start dreaming.

Uh, A big building. Oddly enough the dentist I went to is in there.

Shanghai is pretty cool. There is a ton of trendy stuff and clubs to join and what not. Fixed gear bicycles, photography groups, all kinds of things. It is a massive city after all.

I find the girls much more pretty here where I am at. Shanghai girls just look all fake to me. Much like HK girls. Although I don’t personally know any. So really I could very well be wrong.

Anyway, if I think of anything else I’ll try to write it down.

So for those that don’t care I am going to give an update anyway. I have had a swollen throat for the past two months. I’ve been to the doctors like 4 times. Today I went to Shanghai to go to what I can only perceive as one of the best places that you can go.

The ear nose throat hospital. E.N.T. Hospital of Fudan University. Not only that, I went to the VIP section paid a ton more money by Chinese standards, all to see the best docs they got.

And what do they say. They say the same thing that the past doc in my podunk town said. So I guess that I should of listened to him. Either way I got some meds and a sigh of relief. At least I hope that I can trust these homies.

I also went to the dentist. I ended up going to Kowa Dental in the Jinmao building. Dam place looked like a five star hotel. Hell they even spoke English. But yeah, I paid for it. Although they are not as expensive as the States, they are expensive by China standards. But you get what you pay for, English, foreign trained dudes, and little hot dental assistants. I probably will go back to get what I need done, done. They seem competent enough.

Notes on why China is awesome. Public transportation. Subway, and the long distance bus. I had to ride a bus to get to Shanghai. About a two hour trip. Gr to Detroit. But all I had to do is roll up the the bus station anytime I want and buy a ticket and practically hope on. They have that many buses that you really never have to wait. Awesome.

I called the dentist and wanted an appointment today. Bam, 3 hrs later vamoose I gots me an appointment.

It just seems that some of the cards are stacked weird in the States. Or rather that is just the way it is. You have to have a car, and maybe just maybe you can get an appointment with a dentist later this week.

God forbid you have to or want to see an ENT specialist. Your going to have to wait weeks, as for me, I roll up stand in line for two hours and bam. Gots me a old Chinese guy ramming a mirror down my throat saying hello to my stomach party. I just hope this guys is actually a doc and not some, uh, random Chinese bloke.

I will be posting artsy, very expensive, and trendy photographs of today’s festivities so by all means come back and waste more time while you are supposed to me at work. Because God knows you all don’t come here for real information.

Yep, this is China and China has a S ton of people.

This is what I get for not showing up early. And by early I mean trying to beat super human old people to the hospital. Think about that, yeah, nearly
Impossible.

Note to self 8:30am too late.

I have reached my goals as a human being. People of the Internet, people of the world, read these words carefully.

I am in the top ten in google search results for the phrase “do Chinese shit in the streets.”

My wildest dreams have been fulfilled.

So the other day my coworker and I were driving to lunch. Something that we do everyday. We don’t go very far, maybe a 3-5 minute drive depending on 1 traffic light.

We were driving into at square, it has a road into an apartment complex, and three other roads that lead to main road. People walk there, and what not so it’s a drive kind of slow area.

We roll in and pull out into the square. There is a car coming, in what would of been nothing, even in the States turns into something. The guy that was coming into broad side us was driving super slow, but he was also looking down a cross street and talking on the phone. So he didn’t see the car in front of him, us. So he ended up hitting our back tire area. We stopped and parked. Got out and looked. There were some black scuffs but really any damage. It’s an old van, so, no one really cares. The guy kept driving and let his passenger out 10 meters down, then took off. It was like it never happened.

We said, well, whatever and went to lunch. For sure his cars front bumper has to be repainted. There is no way that it is perfectly fine. He hit us maybe doing 1mph. I suppose that he didn’t care, or maybe thought he didn’t have any damage. In anycase, it was weird.

Such is China.

Let me tell you a thing or two about the mistress, second wife, lover, and or red light barber. It isn’t going to change anytime soon.

I just read this article from Time about mistresses in China. Something I like to think I know a little about, no not mistresses, China. Hell if I had a mistress problem I like to think I wouldn’t have to cry myself to bed every night.

The article points out some reason, but here is my take on it.

So yeah, I see some reasons for this happening and it does happen. First it’s the culture. Think emperors and what not. They had tons of women to uh “help them breath” so it’s something that wasn’t frowned upon from the get go.

Two, there is the one child policy, and no retirement for old wrinkly Chinese people like there is there is in the States, thus the kids are the retirement policy. So girls need to provide or try to or something. Thus they seek the cabbage, the loot, the red backs, the money.

Three, there is no shame in where you got your money from. Are you a hard working Chinese man, yeah, sorry bro, no one cares. Are you a Audi A8 driving, chain smoking, man bag carrying Chinese man, you are awesome and deserve respect.

Four, powerful women. Shy little school girls look up to people, and well, women with money and power are looked up to. If the women just happens to hang out with a dude and wake up to paper bags full of money, good for her, remember there is no shame in where or how you acquired your wealth in China.

Five, there is a ton of money here. Now some of you mainly from a farm, on the side of a gravel road, that have dialup, might still China is full of yellow skinned, clothing making slaves. Uh wrong. While some of that might still be true, it’s not at all like that. It’s now full of Ferrari driving rich ass people. Most of which are men. Now, they all have a ton of dough to blow, along with other things, so they have the money to spend on a second wife. And let’s be honest, it’s cheap. I bet I could do it tomorrow if I wanted. Head down to the local college and talk to a few girls. Tell them I’ll give them a few thousand RMB to live at an apartment that I will rent, and say Monday, Wednesday, Friday I’ll show up and you can help me “breath.” Thus giving me a break from my nagging tiger wife who constantly has to chew my ass out for something.

Six, face. Face people, face. It’s how other people see you. Like the reason you buy that Porsche 911 Turbo. You are in a competition with the worlds population and ever other rich Chinese person. So, you buy a hot piece of ass and show her off to people. Thus gaining respect. Then you tell them that she’ll also make you do 0-60 in less than a 3.6 seconds.

It’s not going to change, it happens all over the world. Who the hell cares. If you teach your children correctly there is chance that they won’t become someone’s second breast (二奶 ernai – the literal translation for the slang term for mistress). Also come on, you shouldn’t be pissed that they have mistresses, what you should be pissed about is that it was paid for from everyone in America buying cheap ass Chinese goods, making the factory owners rich ass hell, so that he could buy that car you always wanted and buy the hottest piece of Asian tail you will every lay your eyes on. Just think that a little bit of that rubber ducky your kids are playing with went to help pay for a Gucci purse so that that hot girl would quite bitching and start working…

Kind of makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside doesn’t it?

Oh and the real people that should be pissed, yeah, the poor Chinese guys that already don’t have women because of the gender imbalance. They just got another girl taken out of the potential dating pool. How in the world are you going to follow up a R8 driving rich ass boss, yeah, that’s right, your not. Not even your hopped up ecofriendly moped can compete with that ex-boyfirend.

This, is, normal. Yes that’s right, normal.

To sit in the middle of a street that’s busy is completely normal and accepted. Although I suppose that it is becoming more and more frowned upon.

Nevertheless, you can not teach an old Chinese new tricks, or laws, or really anything from my experience.

This older women sat on her bike in the street for a good 10 minutes I’m guessing. Chatting away. What I don’t get is why she doesn’t roll up on the curb. Is she not concerned with her safety. Probably not. If she got hit it would be a big pay day. Maybe she wants to get hit?

And here is a random photo of a lake and some dude walking.

Train Supports. They just put them in this year.

Hong Kong

Hong Kong

Dongguan

Hong Kong

Right now I am sitting at a hospital to get looked at for the fourth time.

It’s funny here. People are not civilized. For instance even though they give you a number when you register, everyone still lines up like primal beasts waiting to get the days only meal. So if you are the one who waits like a civilized human would, you could very well be left behind. Luckily the nurse here is going by the numbers. Sometimes they don’t.

I read an article about inner and outer circles China. If you are in the inner circle you are connected, friends, family, etc. But if you are in the outer circle you don’t exsist. You are nothing. So everyone here is in a outer circle. Anything you can do to get ahead is game. Cutting in line, or anything, really. Because everyone else doesn’t exist. But at least at some places they got that corrected. Line gates, query numbers, etc. Like right now even though we are going by the number system there are people that are going up front and trying to get ahead of everyone, begging pleading, lying possibly I suppose. But really what do I know.

The lady behind me has the voice of a 40 yr old whiskey drinking, Marlboro smoking burnt up rock star. She rolled by by complaining about something, sat down behind me and then hocked up a massive amount of throat cocktail and spit it on the floor. It may of broke the sound barrier on the way out. What people don’t realize is that it’s really from the country to the city, for real.

There are different kind of docs here to see. I need to see an ENT but within that section there is a regular doctor which I am guessing is nothing more than a guy that looks like a regular doctor, and then there is the good doctor, the guy who is on the website and I am guessing actually is a doctor. I’m waiting for him, of course so are a lot of other people. So even though my number is 12, some how I have 20 people in front if me. Interesting. On the first floor they said I had to tell the nurse here that I wanted to see the good doc, but then up here I didn’t see anyone ask to see the good doc. Sounds fishy. At anyrate here I am, blogging away while I wait for a doc. Loads of fun.

It kind of interesting to hear the numbers called and see the people’s reaction. This one guy went up right after a name was called, but it wasn’t him. He went to “double check” that he was going to be soon. That’s what it takes at most places. This hospital is pretty good. But other places like train stations or markets it’s first come first serve. Thus when people go to places that are more up class or require a different, how to say, respect, then it’s hard for them. At least that is what it seems like.

So I wrote this part while I was waiting to see the doc. The next part is what happened when I saw the doc.

I walked up to the door and waited. Some women and her child were inside with the child crying.They finished after about 5 minutes and I finally got to see the big man. I had to call a friend so that she could hear what was going on and make sure that I also know what was going on. The doc wanted to take more photos of my throat to see what was going on.

I told him that it’s been this way for the past 2 months. Which in my opinion is kind of long. Although if it is a viral infection, which it could be, then it would take long to heal and there would be nothing that the could really do but wait for my body to fight the infection itself.

I went to get more photos taken, which goes like this. All treatments are like this. The doc looks at you then treats, proscribes, or tests you. Which means that you have to go pay before they do anything. So i have to go pay for the photos and the doc fees before they actually took them. 70RMB for the doc fee and the photo procedure. I rolled back into the E.N.T. department and waited in the photo line. The guy before me couldn’t stop gagging and it took a little bit for the nurse to get some good photos.

Then it was my turn. The cleaned the little stick camera thing, sprayed some numb junk in my throat and went Ansel Adams on me. Done, it 10 seconds. She printed them and I then headed back to the doc’s room. I cut in line, because that’s what you do when you have to have him check the test results. I blocked the door to make sure that there was no way in hell that anyone else could get by me and I waited.

The people that were in the room then came out, I went in, but as I was going in a guy started to follow me. I then shut the door on him, pushing him out while I pushed the door shut. Then some women bursts in and the doc tells he to wait outside.

He looks at my pics, and my friend asks him what was going on. Apparently a lot of people have this. My throat is sore. Yep, that’s about it. He then entered some meds into the computer and I headed to the check out to pay and then to the pharmacy to get my drugs.

The drugs are not antibiotics nor painkillers. I assume that he thinks I have a viral infection in which antibiotics would be of no use.

Done. Actually not bad. But do I believe him? I’m not sure. He is the department head, if I remember right. this would mean that he should know what the hell he is doing. So I suppose that I will take these pills till this weekend and them go to a hospital in Shanghai to just double check that I am not going to kick the bucket any time soon.

I still have lots of Baijiu to drink.

Oh, I forgot to mention that these meds have, uh, bear bile and deer musk in them. Which, uh, I hope makes me more awesome. If not as least I can check it off the list.

Eat bear bile, check. Eat deer musk, also check.