Pudding and Chopsticks

Well at least I am starting to post on a somewhat regular basis. Now that I said that something bad is going to happen to prevent me from being able to write. Spraining a pinky or something. I think writing provides umph to the start of the day by getting the brain all fired up. Well, that and a massive cup of coffee. Speaking of drinking liquids, I was at a coffee shop hanging out looking creative the other day. I ordered some Brazilian coffee, and one of my friends ordered some tea. Nothing new here in this part of the world. After drinking all my coffee I tried a little of the tea. It was awesome. So I drank some more, and more, and more, then something happened. I was high. Pretty sure. Probably from the tea since I don’t drink a lot of it. So what did I do with this new found glory, I drank more tea. Then we walked around and ate street food. Awesome.

So on to something else, um, what I don’t know. I leave to head back down south tomorrow. I need to buy some clothes. I think I am going to get a jacket and some sweaters. Something like that. Oh, yeah I don’t know if I have talked about this. In America I could tell you how much I would pay or how much something was worth, here I have no idea. But that’s not the catch. you got to a store and find out that a sweater is 699. That’s something like 105$ usd. But I know that in the States there is no way in hell I would pay that. For one it’s not worth it and two I didn’t make that much money. So think of this, the people here don’t make anything near what I made in America, so how the hell can they afford it. It’s weird, most brands here, legit ones are the same price as they would be in America, however nobody here have the purchasing power like people have in the states. I don’t get it. You know what I mean. Maybe they just want the rich people wearing the brands. Which is fine. But I think most of the things are over priced. Even for someone making good money here.

Alrighty now what. Bargaining. There is a fine art in it. Say you are at a street vendors little booth. You like a pair of shoes. Now, you can ask what they wants, they might say 180. This is where a Chinese friend comes in handy. We all know that I’m not going to pay 180, unless I am retarded. So I would act surprised and say to my friend something. They would tell them a new price, usually a little low, say 70-90. Can’t go too low. 40% or so of what they want. They might counter with 60% or so. You might say ok or you might pretend to walk away to drive them down even more. Sometimes works sometimes doesn’t. Usually you’ll end up paying 40-60% of what they want. It’s a art and I’m working on it. Learning Chinese helps too. The exceptions are electronics. Hard drives, not discount, computers, etc, not really. No margin on those items. So with those you just have to pony up..

Well, that’s about it for now. I think I am going to do another post about people watching at the airport if I get a chance. That’s always fun.

Being in new city for a bit is always awesome. You get a new perspective on how things are done and experience new things. Especially in China. They say that there are, I can’t quite remember, but something like 7-9 different economies. Each major city has one. The products you get up north you can’t get down south, so on and so fourth. The country isn’t as connected and organized as one would think. There is the issue of cultures in China also. How is this good for food. Well even heading 1000km north you get an entirely different menu, street food, clothes, products, everything. The bad, the favorite popsicle you had down south is no where to be found. But whatever. Here are some photos of my recent outing in Shaoxing. Some friends and I consumed some street food, beer, and walked around. Sorry I didn’t take any photos of the food. It was way too dark. Much is the case at a night market. There is also some photos of some water ways. The city is known for it’s water ways. Also some photos of a menu at a coffee shop. Funny translations.

We ate two dishes, one of noodle slices and the other of noodles. Both spectacular. Drank a beer each, and paid 39元 。 Or about $5.71 total. So good, so awesome, so cheap.

Night market.

Wok ing, pun intended, on some dragons breath..

Someone’s spread just hanging out ready for you to buy and mow down.

You need some young meal of open space bacterium beef boiler? I do..

Awesome.

Old boat.

Green stuff.

The blue building is a big resturant on boat float deals. I hear that it’s pretty gnarly in there. In other words, get ready for a stint on your john the next day.

Another Thanksgiving has gone and past. In fact I forgot until the very day of. I must apologize for not posting in sometime. Stupid story. I landed a job, got busy, flew to a different city, forgot my power adapter for the laptop, didn’t have internet, been busy with job, etc. So finally I’ve gotten a chance to sit down and collect my thoughts. Thanksgiving the past couple years has been different than most. The last two in Colorado my roommates and I made a massive spread, invited a bunch of good friends over and partied like it was 1999. I try to watch the Lions play the Bears whenever I can. A past time that I share with my father. This year is a bit different. Heck, I didn’t even realize that it was Thanksgiving. So more or less it’s just another day for me. I ate some Chinese food, walked around, drank some beer and got lost in fog. The latter wasn’t really a day-to-day chore however I mention it because it was awesome. Please take a gander at the photographs below.

I can remember going to my Grandmothers house and eating until I couldn’t anymore. I defiantly miss that. Even so, I can still be Thankful for a few things. Good friends, a job, a life, and so on. So with that being said, what I have been up to.

Well, I have a job, yes, I am a freelance creative artist. I sat that because it sounds good. Most I am a freelance photographer and designer. I am currently working on a project. I am totally stoked to have a job and be working on something. Especially being creative.

I mentioned something about a girl last post. I shall now elaborate a bit on that subject. I am not madly in love or anything, however this is the story, it’s kind of interesting as to how some may meet the opposite sex in China. There is a store near my house that I used to go to everyday. I still do however it’s for different reasons now. Before it was the fact that it was the closest to my ultimate destination. Now it’s mainly because I am “crushing” on a girl that works there. I always bought a Coke and a iced red tea. Maybe I would throw in a popsicle. Lately they have been out, so disappointing. When I would go to this store the employees would follow me around willing to answer any and all questions that I never asked. One could compare them to hawks. Well if you haven’t noticed I am a white guy in a country full of Chinese people. Most of these girls are from different area of China. The city that I live in is very similar to Vail in respect that there are not many people here are born and raised. The most development has occurred in the last 5 years. So there girls are not used to seeing a foreigner. They would giggle and laugh. Mostly at my funny faces I would make.

Tangent. Most young girls you see working in shops all look sad and about to huck themselves off a 10 story building. Why, think about it, you have no skills, didn’t go to college, are going to work a dead-end job forever, have more pressure than men to marry, have kids, have a life, some girls just give up. Hell I don’t know if this is true, it makes sense to me. In any case they look sad all the time.

There was one girl in particular who did not look sad; in fact she was cheerful and always smiled. Anyhow, I got the guts one day to give her my number. Now I am a shy guy, which is not good in China. The girls here want a man in control, and from what I am told you have to boss them around. Don’t worry it’s totally common. Besides Chinese guys will do more than I ever will. I don’t like to boss, demand, or tell someone what to do. It’s hard for me unless, well, I don’t know.

I walked into the store with my game plan. I grabbed a Pepsi just to mix it up and maybe throw her off guard. I reached the counter, oh, did I mention that I had a hell of a hangover. Yeah, I wasn’t feeling hot at all. So I swaggered up to the counter and put my Pepsi onto the metal table scanner thing that was made of stainless steel. She smiled and rang it up while I went over the Chinese in my head. I asked for a receipt, wrote my number on it, and my name, gave it to her and told her to give me a call. I then said bye bye, I know cheesy but it’s what you say, and strolled out like nobodies business. 3 meters out the door I realized that I had only given her the first 7 digits of my number. In the PRC there are 10 or 11, heck I don’t remember. So yeah, that went great.

The next day I went back in and she proceeded to say a bunch of words I didn’t know, something to the effect that you gave me the wrong number here is mine. So she gave me her number and we have been texting since then. I talked to my Father the other day and the first thing he says to me is, “so about this girl.”  Good to talk to you too Dad. “So she speaks English then.” Nope, not at all. Not really. Nope. Which is way weird for me. In speaking with this girl I have learned quite a bit. In fact I can read basic things. So funky. I am reading Chinese. But hey, what’s one to do. So her and I chat a lot, but haven’t really gotten the chance to hangout. She doesn’t get a day off and works 10-11 hours per day. Sounds like total fun. Sucks. But yeah, good stuff. I’ve gotten super fast at looking things up in a dictionary and whatnot. This is bad, because when I go to the store she starts talking superduper fast, thinking I can read Chinese and all that jazz. Oh man, it’s frustrating to say the least. Trying to communicate in a different language. Understand what’s going on, translate, understand the culture, what she means, when she is joking. But you know, it’s fun too. Of course everyone at work knows what’s going on and as soon as I roll in the comes hopping out to see me. One day I had 7 girls all speaking to me at the same time. I might of said that before. That’s mind blowing. Nice to meet you, where you from, a thousand other questions I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about. I had to bail.. ahh….

That’s really all that has been happening. So, I should return to the house and be on a somewhat normal schedule soon. Until then to ta loo..

Sunset.

Attack of the Thanksgiving fog.

Oh, wait, is that a beer?

On and off switch Chinese style.

Some sort of old structure.

Snowboard bench.

Pretty much the best wings ever. Look at all that goodness just waiting to be bbq’d up.

Night time photograph.

Here are the rest of the photos thus far on my little working vacation.Yes that is a jar of Vaseline. Don’t ask me I don’t have any knowledge pertaining to that.

Ok, for those filled with ambition, here is how to pimp out your beloved babies. Take them outside of a bar at 2 am and proceed to ask for money from everyone that you see. Yes people. How do I know this. Well, I just happen to come from such a place and passed such individuals. I got to hand it to them. They did say all the English they know, or probably know, hello to you to, quit pimping out your babies. Nice. Anyway, after that I went to the Qmart, bought a bag of potato chips and it’s at the exact moment that I opened them that I realized that I wanted to write something tonight. I also had this thought.

Potato chips in China are encased in bags that contain enough air pressure to bead and inflate a 315/80 R22.5 bus tire. So, you must open the bags with caution. Extra glue at the seams with an increased are pressure is a deadly formula for disaster. You try to open the bag by grabbing the seams on the sides and pulling apart like any seasoned American would, your toast. Instead let me recommend pulling the top down and opening it from the side. That way the seam doesn’t reach a point of tensile release and then explode sending debris all over. Rather you easily tear the side down releasing the air, keeping all the saturated fat in one piece. Mission accomplished.

Look, my new real fake shoes. Sure to reel in all the ladies.

Sky.

Sky with Palms.

I read, or rather, look at the photos of this rad magazine called, Milk, It’s awesome because it’s kinda like a fashion magazine for nerds with a bunch of art, photos, gadgets, and graphic design. Hong Kong is the bollucks. Sorry been hanging with those damn Brits too much. Mag is awesome, however there is one thing that I don’t get. Why write the entire magazine in Chinese, and write the headlines in English. I’m stumped. Maybe I need to move back to America and start a mag, write it in English but the headlines in Chinese. Genius..

As you can see I am collecting a massive collection. In a few decades time I might be able to build a house with them.

I got more writing to come. If I do it all right now I won’t have anything to write about tomorrow. However I will give you a little tease. It’s about a girl.

There was a time that a particular roommate and I would sit and polish off a bag of double stuffed awesomeness with massive lake size glasses of ice cold milk leaning over a counter and talking about the corresponding bond between male and females while agreeing to disagree. Those were the days. I haven’t drank milk in over 6 months. I love it too. It’s painful to think about. Up north yonder their milk was a little sketch. Down here in Dongguan (东莞) it’s not as bad. You can purchase the imported Aussie milk from cows and goats or something. I haven’t dived in yet, mainly because it’s super expensive. Probably the same price as in America, however you have to remember that I don’t make as much here. I also can’t find chocolate milk anywhere. At least the good stuff. I did find Hershey syrup. Oh that’s the ticket. Soon I think I will do a review with some Aussie animal milk and some Hershey black gold. Ok. Um So to get to the point, I took some photographs of some Oreos I pigged on the other day.

I think that they maybe imported or made for the Japanese market. Just a guess.

Can’t read most if not any of that. I’m sure it says something like, contains Oreo stuff, and fat.

There you are my beautiful. I knew that someday I would see you again. Looks like an Oreo, talks like an Oreo, smells like an Oreo, must be an Oreo.

Although they are Oreos these little bad boys have more in common with Asia then you know, mainly the fact that, as you can see, there isn’t much “junk in the trunk” if you know what I mean.

Not doing much just sitting here in a cold dark room. My choice I suppose. I got a little MJ and just doing a little internet research while a noodle is getting it’s goodness ready. I had a few more thoughts I wanted to share. Or rather a few more posts.  So this one is going to be about what’s been happening on the Chinese language and girl front. Why, well, they kinda go hand in hand. In order to hangout with a girl, you must, well, hell, you have to learn Chinese, speak, read and write. If you don’t you’ll be going to the .. Never mind, let’s just say that you will be lonely.

The image below is a screen shot of my desktop with what I normally do everyday. I usually end up chatting it up with a few girls that I know or have been introduced to. As you can see, besides the photograph of my Grandmother and Grandfather’s wedding in 1955, I think it was 1955, is a bunch of Chinese. Weird huh?

We were talking about the weather or something. One thing that you learn is to get really fast on the dictionary draw. Which I am. This inevitably ends up blowing up in my face. Because when I end up seeing the girl, well, she thinks I speak fluent Chinese since I can reply fairly fast. Things blow up and I usually have to say that I suck at it and the usual. Good times.

So I got tons to talk about but, I don’t remember it. I am the kind of person that will write something down right away to talk about it later. Or just write about it then and there. If I don’t I won’t remember it. Pretty much why I didn’t have to study at all in school. As long as I had written it down during the lecture. I would remember it.

So back to the matter at hand. What I have been up to. I didn’t log too much on what was going on here. I didn’t have a job, didn’t have any money, but I was happy, well, not really but I enjoyed what I was doing and that was being creative. I had been designing a website for a buddy. Which leads into my next little bit on information. I didn’t have a job. I turned down a teaching gig to give freelancing a shot. And now I am glad I did. Why? Well if I was teaching I would have time to do what I really wanted to do. I’ve been living two lives for the past 6 years or so. Work full-time and try to do photography or what have you. So I decidedly to give up the day job. I did, and it has paid off somewhat. I am now a freelance photographer and designer. It’s easy to say that. Anyone really can, but I have clients. That’s what makes it for real. People want to pay me so that I can design for them. Awesome. Currently I am doing mostly web design. Never really thought I would be doing something like this but here I am. So for the most part I have a job, it pays, I am happy to be creative and that is awesome.

I turned 28. Yes that’s right I am 28 years old. 11/11. I didn’t do much, didn’t have a massive party. I had a low key, drink some beers, eat some Korean food, in China type of B day. It was pretty cool. I haven’t done much since then. Just trying to stay constructive during the downtime until the next gig starts. Started drawing some. Mostly little 3d things. I had a thought the other day. I went to the store to get a drawing pad, some pencils, and a few markers. I had the thought that, it would be really cheap to be an artist in China. Think about it. For markers, 32 of them, pencils, and a massive drawing pad of good quality I paid, are you ready, 5 bucks US. Cheap. And since artist are always broke you could live in China for super budget and then sell art, painting or what have you and be pretty good off. Just a thought.

Any more thoughts, lets see, um, business, yes. I am learning more and more about business. Which is a very good thing. However I hope that in doing so I don’t become an a hole. I say this because most business people are ruthless a holes. Not all, my friends are not, but I can see how most biz people have to be. It’s cut throat. I don’t think it will happen any way. My Grandma taught me well.

I am also part-time teaching. Yah… I have a student that needs to practice her English conversation. What do I have to do, just talk. Not to hard. However her company is paying for it and well, they want a a lengthy outline about what is happening in every class. Seems a bit overkill especially for ten hours of instruction. But hey, they’re paying so, yeah, they’ll get a lengthy outline.

It’s cold here. 12C or close to 50-55F. No one here has heat. All the buildings are concrete, this means that I am cold. Pretty much. Originally I planned to stay here, or up north, for six months. Well that’s been extended for, well, probably a long time given the state of America. I don’t have any winter clothes. I had brought one sweater. That’s it. I did bring jeans, that was smart on my part. So the weather here went from so hot to freaking cold. I went to the store the other day to get some clothes. I ended up with a long sleeve polo and some fake Converses. Not bad for 20$ US. Got to love the “market.” Fake everything. Today I have to go get some sweat pants, socks, and maybe a blanket.

Not sure what else to talk about. I am going to get back into the swing of things as it pertains to writing. So expect something everyday. For now I will leave you with photos that I have taken from the time I stopped writing till now. Or close to now. I think. Anyway.

This happens all the time. A bunch of people gather in the big public square and do exercises and watch a big jumbo tron thing. Good stuff. I myself go to the public square to drink beer and watch people. But you know, well all got our prerogatives.

Please in all the is holy don’t hit anything and don’t catch the bus on fire.

The monthly trip to HK. As you can see I am actually on FB, at Starbucks, on my birthday, in HK. This side of the bridge look at whatever you want. Oh, but 2oo yards on the other side of the bridge.. Oh S.. don’t even think about it.

To everyone who wished me a happy b day. I think you. I also apologize for not being able to reply on FB. It’s certainly not the bee knees.

We went out to eat for my b day at a Korean place. I have to say it was average. I enjoyed it, but, its has nothing on the Korean food up north. Now that I think about it up north was only a few hours from Korea. That’s probably the reason. Dratz.

Banfan. Rice bowl thingy.

Korean alcohol. If Russia has vodka, France wine, China 白酒, then Korea has this, soju. It’s a little easier to get down then vodka, but it still will mule kick you in the a hole if you underestimate it’s awesomeness. Tastes close to vodka too but is sweater and more floral.

Holding down the mean streets of south China.. Oh, I did bring a beanie to China with me. Why, s, I don’t know. But it has came in handy.

B day beer on a deck table outside a store. I really like public drinking.

I liked the green light from the paint on the wall. Doing work..

This is… awesome beer. Comes from the spinning lady food place. See Different Cultures Within China post. You order it by saying “one bottle black beer.” Chinese is awesome.

More spinning.

Something interesting.

Japanese noodle place.

Some dude getting work done.. Nothing new here.

This is how you hold up the forms for the second floor before you pour the cement. Genius I tell you genius..

Until next time..

Ok, I had a little bit of trouble getting this thing to work. At first I thought it did, then, it didn’t want to work with photos. Which is a problem, after a few tries and an entire day nothing. I then tried several different way to move this master piece of visual candy, nothing. Finally I tried one last thing and wham.. It works. The words work, the photos, work, and finally I am fast on the track of being famous. Yes.

Well, I am not entirely sure what is going on but, I can’t see my blog in the PRC. It doesn’t give me the “your not supposed to be looking” screen, but it doesn’t load either. Huh, either way I am changing hosts and trying to get some things moved over. Going to take forever. I might have to do it next time I go to HK. So the jest of it is, I probably won’t be blogging much. Providing I can’t login to post, makes it really difficult to upload anything. So yeah. I am still alive but won’t be posting much.

If anyone wants to reach me by all means hook it up with an email.

homer{@}puddingandchopsticks.com

If you are not a robot don’t be dumb and remove the {}..